Cashing In on The Imaginary

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Every now and then I get these ideas that I think, if worked on hard enough, could make me very rich - but for some reason don't. Take last night for example. I thought of three things:

1. Nerds like making up imaginary girlfriends, but apparently, they suck at it.

2. Imaginary things cost nothing to make.

3. It's hard to make people but what you're faking unless somebody helps you out on the ruse.

4. Anything is profitable in the internet.

If an asshole can go up to Ebay and auction off his soul and get real money for it, I thought as I made those four points, maybe I can do better (just slightly better, but still better)

So I thought I should start selling imaginary girlfriends online. For the nerds who lack a social life and an imagination. Fake pictures, fake accounts, even fake chat sessions. For the times the gf needs to be introduced online in chat conferences, we'll hire or recruit voluntarily some roleplayer to act like the girlfriend. Long story short, we'll help some poor feller fake his lovelife.

It's hassle free. The guy who avails of the service can pretend he's got a long-distance relationship going on with this hot girl from Davao and in effect shut everybody around him up about his "almost being gay". After he gets tired of the girlfriend, he can break up with her and wipe his hands with kleenex - no attachments or guilt!

The market for this service is almost infinite, as we all have at least one friend who keeps on saying he's already got a special someone who is thousands of nautical miles from where he is, though nobody's ever seen the girl before, and all he has are pictures of some random girl that doesn't have the guy in it (or badly photoshopped in)

Sounds like a good idea eh? I thought so too. And then my (not-so-imaginary) girlfriend googled about it, and found this:

There's always that one asshole a step ahead of you no? But I'm not giving up. We'll one up the service by providing imaginary harems. With legions of imaginary women at your pimptastic disposal.

For a very low price you could be the guy in the middle,
minus the half-naked hero pointing at your mantits.

Interested? I know you are.

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