President Arroyo's New Year's Resolutions

I will no longer eat at expensive restaurants that cost the taxpayers $20,000 per meal.

This year, I'll order takeout to save on the service charges.



I will no longer participate in dubious broadband deals with our Chinese neighbors.

Everybody knows wireless is the new broadband.

I will no longer act friendly with warlords from the South.

Maybe I'll just poke them every now and them in facebook.

I will no longer make ridiculous excuses about why I underwent breast augmentation surgery.

Everybody knows I'm already an ass. I just need tits to complete the T&A set.

I will no longer make any stupid promises I don't intend to keep, like not running for anything.

But I'll do whatever I want anyway, like become a Queen.