Oneliner Digest

Just another roundup of oneliners. Some of these came from my status in facebook.

Okay, by some, I mean all of them, but what the hell right?

Never hit a man with glasses, specially if it's your drink that he's holding for you.

(more after jump)

You don't treat love like a 7/11. Never enter one expecting convenience. Or free Slurpies.

Being the best in life is a lot like being the best in typing maniac. Either get good enough to best all of your friends or hang out only with friends you're sure you can beat.

Any programmer can say "Hello World". A really good programmer can make the world answer back.

Every time lightning strikes, I wonder if God also goes "*&#*(& static!" too?

And so the wolf huffed and puffed, but still couldn't blow the house of bricks down. Finally, he said, I give up, and called Super Mario...

There are three types of happy people in the world. The ignorant, the contented, and the drugged out. The ignorant are the happiest, the contented stay happiest longest, but those drugged out get the funkiest happy moments.

Whoever said TGIF was probably never into project-based work.

Kapag nadapa at sumubsob sa lupa, wag magdamdam. Isipin mo na lang, magandang pagkakataon yun para mamboso.

Dear IBM, Please do not design your Rational IDE in such a way that it does many things automatically without our explicit instructions. It complicates things, specially for the lot of us who still believe in demonic possession. Thanks and Regards, Java Developer

I bet workers at the ribbon factory complain about having to go through lots of red tape too.

It's not pride that oft kills a man, but the itch to act on it.

Some people are born to create. Others are born to consume. Painters create. Critics consume. Dancers create. Watchers consume. The lovers, how beautifully do they create. And the lot of us, left to consume what they leave in their wake.

Dapat kapag may nais kang sabihin na mabuti sa isang tao, hindi ka nagaalinlangan. Huwag kang umasa sa bukas, dahil ang bukas ay isang tusong kaibigan na maaaring mawala na lang ng biglaan, kasama ang pagkakataon na hindi na darating muli. Wag mo na hantayin pa ang habambuhay na pagsisisi. Umamin ka na. Gwapo talaga ako.

Pilipino United Kontra Ilegal Na Gagagwing Immediate National Assembly!

Having to chose between Eclipse and NetBeans is just like choosing which type of car you'd want to run over your foot.

Minsan sa umaga, gusto ko na lang matulog ng matulog, kaso, palagi na lang ako sinisigawan pag ginagawa ko yun. "HOY NAGMAMANEHO KA!"

FACEBOOK as a word isn't new to me. 20 years ago FACEBOOK is what our teachers would tell us when we were too distracted in class.

Sometimes I put on my earphones even when there's no music playing because I'm not trying to keep noise out, I'm trying to keep my thoughts from leaking.

A framework server walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why so down?"

Knock knock. Who's there? AEON. AEON who? "Somewhere AEON the road, our roads are gonna cross again, doesn't matter when~

Bakit sweet pag naguusap ang dalawang programming IDE? Kasi baka nagkakadevelopan na sila.

Geek joke moment ulit. Ano daw ang kinakain ng developer bago maglunch? Ano pa? Eh di SOFT LUNCH!
Restaurant city diet: Water, banana, apple, slave labor. What are you waiting for?! Start losing those pounds!