Filipino Popes

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

If we were to have a Filipino Pope we'd probably see the following things:

- A Pope-Mobile that has a "Katas ng Vatican" sticker behind, AND you'd have the names of Jesus Mary and Joseph and "Holy Family" written on the ceiling of the vehicle.

- During the first year of his stay in Vatican, all the pope's relatives will become immigrants there.

- We'd switch daily bread being served during his masses with Pan de Sal.

- Wine flavors will become diversified with the introduction of new flavors: Pomelo, GSM Blue, and Lambanog Bubble Gum.

- I for one would like to see a Pope wearing spartan slippers.

- The smoke that will come out of the election chamber will probably be from "siga" instead, because damn, do we love to burn our garbage or what?

- Prior to election, the Pope will be doing TV election ads, will have his face plastered all over the Vatican in bright posters, and every person he's ever blessed would have a "Salvation Brought to You By Cardinal Mercado - Kay Mercado, Langit Sigurado!"

- Every USTard of PeX's The Academe will start saying "Now, we're really the royal pontifical universal... etc"

- Gay Impersonators, nuff sed.

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