My Work

[This article is best served with a nice hot cup of GLOAT. What was that? Screw you, I just need some selfreassurance at the moment. Bite me.]

I've always been straightforward about how I deal with my work. I don't like working, but I'm happy with my work. Granted the ability to not have to work a single minute more and still be made for life, I'd drop what I'm doing faster than you can say "driftwood".

But then again, life's not exactly the type to give things out as freebies. To get what you want, you gotta earn money, and just like any human being out there, I do have my sets of wants, although I'm not so sure there are other humans who'd want most of what I want, like invade Sabah using native soliders strapped on the backs of tortoises.(fuck yeah.)

So I work, and I'm happy I only have to do what I do to get the money I want. I work in the IT industry and while it's not exactly the best line of work out there (e.g. Peter North's) I admit that it's a lot better than most other jobs out there, but who cares? A few of the indirect perks you can get for doing my line of work:

1. Work is hardly monotonous, very much unlike working the cash register, or manning a ferry, or blowing dicks for chump change. Pretty much like being inside a car, being in constant changing motion eliminates most notions of boredom. Of course most accidents require motion to occur, but what the hell, right?

2. I don't have to walk around, much. I like sitting. God gave me a well-formed ass so I can sit on it and I'm happy to not disappoint in using such a gift. I know it forces me into a sedentary lifestyle, but I guess I've grown to love just that. Like you know, just sitting and still earning shit. Walking around causes all sorts of injury, like tripping, and getting hit by a runaway bus. Nobody likes those things, not when you have safer options like sitting. .

3. I don't have to talk to people, much. I like talking to people actually, as long as I don't have to talk to them about work. As anybody who's been in a team before , I know that the biggest problems working people ever face are the problems that actually have faces - other people. By being forced to face a computer, you minimize that gut-busting aspect most work forces on you. Sure, you get your daily dose of human attrition too, but not as much. Also there's always nice ways to avoid intense conflicts using technology - like email, the answering machine, and heaven forbid, the tazer.

4. Internet. So how many jobs will give you the perk to type out something like this during workhours? In some cases typing out even something like this on a keyboard could mean instant death - like if you're a trapeze acrobat.

5. I get to travel and shit. Sure, it's only one country but still. I'm happy I can travel. Going into another country gives you a chance to just leave a lot of things behind and give you a perspective on many aspects of life(for my case, a very chinese perspective). For my case, I get an extra bonus because I only stay for short periods and I stay where there's Jollibee, and we all know being able to eat chickenjoy at any moment's notice is always a good plus when nostalgia starts kicking in.

6. Programming is the exercise for the mind. The mind is a muscle that just dies out when you stop using it. Ask any congressman. By doing programming, you constantly get presented with puzzles, and puzzles you're paid to solve. You get your mental exercise and you're being handed wads of cash for your effort. It's a win-win scenario. My only peeve about this is that people rarely see well-sculpted brains without having to crack your skull open. I bet if I can show off my brain around, I'd be getting chicks left and right. (p.s. Anna, darling, if you're reading this, I'm just saying this for humor's sake. I love you baby. Now put down that knife.)


There's a hundred different labels for my profession, not including raunchier ones like codebitch, so it's always hard to know what it is that I really do, and it's always hard as hell to explain what I do to people who don't understand what SDLC, coding, and Java means. But here's a little secret that I've always thought about my work:

It's awesome.