SAdSense - Advertising for Emos

As I looked at the ad I thought, I don't need an ad to tell me Jesus loves me.

But I blinked once. Then twice.

What if this is just an elaborate plan so I won't be able to reason out "we never clicked" on Judgement Day?

I spent the rest of the afternoon crying.

A Can-Do Kind of Guy

Sure, it's easy to scare people by saying you'll open a can of whoop ass if you get pissed.

But think of how much more scary you'd have to be if you were to claim you're the guy who actually packs the whoop ass into the can.

Small Is Still Beautiful

One big problem of delay-trigger computer viruses nowadays is that the longer it stays in the victim system, the bigger then chance the antivirus program will successfully random hash scan the virus out. Another problem, though somewhat smaller, is that file-per-file antivirus scanners often detect virus signatures of file-attaching variants easily, thanks to AV engineers who look at caught strains from infected files and analyze signatures for the virus.

Chimera project aims to prove that by using collaborative multistrain nanoviruses, the antiviruses that work on signature detection can be bypassed repeatedly by the same strain even after a signature has been established. The main idea is to release multiple substrains of a single virus in the wild which, when complete, can be activated by a trigger fragment containing Memory Access Trigger instructions, can be accessed through relative memory hops in the VM cache on any RISC based system.

There will be three components in this concept. The substrains which should be at the minimum of three types will contain cryptoinformation of the base secondary memory relative location for the two other substrains containing the exec codes before and after the exec codes the substrain hosts. These cryptoinformation are encrypted using a common key of the releasing party and will vary per release. That way, no single signature will ever be derived and the fragment locations will be untraceable outside actual execution time.

A special substrain can be included for status check and it will be without any exec code fragment. It will, instead, contain the head substrain cryptoinformation of the first exec code segment and will be responsible for checking completeness of the multiple required substrains.

The trigger fragment substrain will likewise be lacking any exec code and will only contain the key for the cryptoinformation and the memory access trigger. Memory access triggers are so common, so small, AV engineers usually overlook them when searching for signatures to avoid any false triggering when scanning for the virus.

The special statuscheck stubstrain will prevent any unknown fragments to mutate the code and maintain good CRC, it can be invoked by hte trigger fragment before execution to prevent any incomplete runs. Upon execution, the trigger fragment will pass the instruction pointer from one fragment of code to anther, hosted in different files that are only "partially" infected, which AVs will only identify as "possibly corrupt".

This project will contain a proof-of-concept assembling a 96kb program across six substrains, contained in three mp3 files, 2 jpeg files and one executable binary.

(source: Project Chimera - ubiquity through collaborative computing whitepaper dated 2003, theoretical study introduction)

Random Quotes For The Week

Listen lady, sometimes you just have to tell men what they really want. Other times telling them what they're going to get if they refuse works better (dislodged testicles, for example)

My friend says he lives a hardcore life. I guess mine can be classified as softcore. Kinda like the same thing, but with less dicks and assholes in the view.

I think I have a superpower and I can freely use it. I can actually see how people will look like when they grow old, like 50 years from now. Unfortunately I haven't been around in this world long enough to see if the power really works.

Bills always seem to come early and airline flights always seem to come in late. So maybe if we were to make the airplanes deliver the bills, we'd have solved one problem or the other.

One perfectly good reason man doesn't live on bread and water alone is that building the second story of your house out of wheat can get tricky.

I bet if you subscribed one yahoogroup address to another yahoogroup address and have the other yahoogroup address subscribed to the first one, you can destroy the internet with the push of a single button.

Real friends never let trivial fights get in the way of more important things - like bigger fights.

Maybe some people forget so they don't have to bear with forgiving people.

Some people get disappointed more because their ability to see potential in people does not include the ability to see potential through.

I think I'm going to far just to be able to brag about my son. There has to be an easier way to become a father who can say "My 7-year old can do Calculus in the dark" without renaming our maid "Calculus" and teaching my son sex at an early age.

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ill be out tomorrow so this'll be the last post for the week. cheerio

Jose Rizal Reference

Rizal is a pretty famous person. He's got a statue in Germany, several streets named after him, and pretty much every transcript record of Filipino students has his name mentioned on it at least once. Granted, we'd even call a sex position after him - getting Rizal'ed. ("Harap sa likod bago tirahin") Still, I didn't expect references of him on certain things.

Like anime. Not in another 10 years anyway, until the moonpeople run out of plots and start using harem-prone doctors who travel from country to country (i.e. Rizal).

That said, this anime has to be 10 years ahead of its time. Title: Bamboo Blade. An anime about Kendo - a sport which, by normal standards, is safe to classify as "not fucking related to Rizal at all".

Apparently, that's not enough to deter Japanese people from inserting something as random as Rizal's face (See photo below)


Episode 10 can be watched here. Skit starts at 20:20

Let's not be asking questions why, or how. I have no f'ing idea either.

Japan. Producing 90% of the world's most random shit. Since 1951.

Public Static's Void Brain

I'm not really sure what happened. Sometimes while working you just get so burned out you tend to type things that aren't even remotely related to your program. Like the picture above.

Walter, True Love, Craig David

Finding the answer to true love is more like a multiple choice than an essay. The more choices you think you have, the more complicated it gets too choose the right one. The closer the choices are to each other, the harder it gets to pick. The more stupid your justifications become, the bigger a role luck plays in it. Finally, the "all above" answer almost always ends in tragedy.

Picture added for no reason at all. His name is Walter, he is a hunter, and he can bring your ancestors back to life just to kill them again by killer intention alone.

Yes, I'm being random today. What? No, not really. I refuse to take it back. Craig David still sucks bazoonga ass.

F4 Music Will Heal The World

I have this theory that F4 music is the ultimate cure. F4 music can heal any ailment, including cancer - if only we let it. So maybe you're saying "how come we haven't really heard anybody claiming that he or she got healed?" I guess it's true, but then again, nobody really expects F4 music to heal them so when they do, they really don't say it's because they were listening to F4 music.

Or maybe you'll just ask "We all listen to a bit of F4 music everyday, how come we still get sick?" Think about it. Maybe we're just not playing F4 music often enough, loud enough. Just because we haven't seen it perform what I think it can perform (healing) doesn't mean it cant (heal).

I have F4 mp3s at home. I store it in the first aid kit. I haven't put them to use just yet, but like many things inside the first aid box, it helps me rest better at night knowing I have something I can use in case the need for it comes.

I guess F4 music is just way ahead of its time. And I'm just as advanced in pointing that out. Someday in the future, mankind will wake up and realize the great service they're doing to humanity and say to each other "Hey, wow, F4 music really heals body and soul - if we had realized this sooner, we would have ended war and suffering a long time ago. We should have listened to that guy, redkinoko. Also, we should have offered virgins to him in repayment."

Some things are just not meant to be. But if ever you have enough faith in what I say here, if ever you think you need something to help you out in time of great need, listen to some f4 music. Be healed. Be happy. Be gay.

F4 music. You do the listening, they'll do the rest.

p.s. don't listen to Craig David. He's Satanspawn.

Review: Why Cloverfield Sucks and why a Cloverfield sequel is needed.

I'm feeling generous today so I'll be generous enough to say that this article contains spoilers for Cloverfield. I've been getting a lot of mixed reactions about the movie so I might as well give a digest of what I've seen in the movie.

Cloverfield is a movie about a tape found in the aftermath of a "big monster" attack in Manhattan. The film itself is somewhat off the beaten track in a sense that the narration, character development, and plot movement is made almost invisible in the supposedly amateur-shot video.

People have been saying that Cloverfield failed the hype for two reasons: awkward camera movement and lack of a decent plot. Let's discuss that.

First reason is the awkward camera movement. I'll be frank. The reason people say it's dizzying to watch the movie is because it is. The director wanted a movie that is actually immersive. Face it, everybody has gone through that awkward shit moment when we try to remember (or somebody forces us to remember) an event by watching a video that got taped by somebody with the hand-eye coordination of a monkey suffering from epileptic seizure. It's this feeling that he wanted us to feel, to an ass-cringing level. Only reason why it sucked is that we have never really tried doing that on a screen with a surface area three times the size of your house.

Next. Cloverfield has no plot whatsoever. The monster appears, basically kills the shit out of everybody, and then the film ends. Whatever character development exists between those plot points gets nullified anyway after the death of, well, pretty much everybody.

As for the origin of the Cloverfield monster, I'm not sure if I'm right but there was a weird scene towards the end of the film where the sea was seemingly unnecessarily shot from the ferris wheel. Something splashed on the ocean, which could the the monster or something (Fuck you, Abrams) . It wasn't meant for the casual viewers, so it's not counted and that's besides the point. Cloverfield's plot, if it exists, is thinner than thin.

The reason why Cloverfield seemingly didn't have any plot is that the main point of the film is to deliver an experience, not a story. You remember the Hollywood Godzilla? Remember how much it sucked? Cloverfield fixed that by putting the PoV literally on the people that run around screaming "gojira" and end up getting flattened, blown up, or eaten. And in that angle, Cloverfield succeeded in making the audience feel how it's like to be down there instead of being up with the jets and choppers. Most films nowadays are story-based. Reality TV shows are partially experience-based. Cloverfield is somewhat like a simulated Reality TV show turned into a movie. Kinda like Survivor: Manhattan - Outwit, Outplay, Outrun a fucking big monster and not get eaten alive. You don't watch concerts to get a story. You watch it to get an experience. Same goes for Cloverfield.

You want to know the real reason why Cloverfield sucks? There's not enough lesbian action.

I demand a Cloverfield sequel.

Dramatic Lemur

Day four of "Jet's being too lazy to write anything substantial again". I give you the dramatic Lemur, who, despite being unschooled, unbathed, and probably filled with more parasites than me, is able to create 30 seconds of comedy gold.



A million monkeys banging on typewriters everyday would not produce Shakespearean works, but another million of them facing webcams should be well within the resource requirements of replacing comedians entirely.