Pinoy Eurotrash

Friday, July 16, 2010

You know, it's not really that bad to appreciate products that come from other countries. I don't ever recall, for example, ever encountering condoms with the Proudly Philippine Made logo. And I most certainly would not want to be operated on by surgical knives made by the same people who forge amazingly fragile souvenir blades in Batangas. If you want quality, you gotta branch out. You have to import.

What I don't understand, however, is the latest trend in cars. No, not really importing cars. What I don't understand is why people would put European Union Carplates (those long blue carplates with a circle of stars on the side) under their local license plates to appear that they were imported from EUROPE.

I suppose I'd be willing to forgive cars of brands like BMW and Alfa Romeo. They could have been from Europe once. But why would any ignant ass moron want to be so proud to say that their cars are second hand? Unless you're from Europe, migrated back to the Philippines and took your 1 metric ton car along for some god knows what reason, an EU license plate in your car means you bought your shit second hand and by deduction, means you cannot afford a brand new one and therefore a general cheapskate. This does not happen in anything else. You dont see girls bragging about their bags and outfits being bought in an Ukayukay or in some used car parking lot. There is no bragging right in being able to say that
"once upon a time, a fat american woman used this shoulder bag, yeah? cool huh?" In fact, in most situations, they'd take that secret to their graves (or yours, if they can get away with it)

Even worse are the people who probably don't even understand the concept of "imported". These car owners are so willing to jump into a fad without even half understanding the ramifications of what they're doing.

See, if you have a locally assembled car, or even a car that was assembled in an Asian country, and then you tack an EU license plate onto it, what does that tell you? Your asian car was imported to europe, some european dude wore it out, and then they sent it back here in Manila for you to use. See how messed up that is? Worst of all, because such a scenario would be impossible in a locally car, that means YOU'RE MAKING THIS SHIT UP. It's like having a girlfriend and secretly bragging to all your friends that she used to get in bed with a German brewmaster, but it's alright now because you're her new boyfriend. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

The only thing worse than a fake imported product is a fake imported product openly admitted by its owner. You know what accessory would be nice for these cars? Shreds of dignity. They'd really do wonders.

If you really want to tack a licenseplate under your local one, make it a North Korean license plate. In a country where barely anything is able to come out without being riddled by bullets by border guards, a North Korean license plate means you came walking out of an impossible place, and was badass enough to bring your car along - a feat that has never been done. See the difference? From a mobile eurotrash you turn into one van short of MR.T's 1983 custom GMC Van, which is the Peter North of all vehicles which gives you one important entitlement:

The right to being the biggest dick on the road.

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