's Biggest News Of The Day

Monday, April 11, 2011 is like a hot but secretly batshit insane girlfriend of a close friend. At first you wonder why anybody in their right mind would dump her, but after a while you just say "good riddance" and then proceed with filling the grave with your shovel. The longer I read, I get to realize why GMA News TV left the previously dominant news site INQ7.NET. Inquirer fields an amazing array of retarded articles on their site, ranging from five worded SEO traps, to unmarked paid advertisment, to amazingly bias politicking from only the most unprofessional people of the industry.I'm not saying GMA News TV is any better, but "good riddance".

Just look at the article above.

1. A kid learning how to fold paper is NOT news. Every kid eventually learns it. The only time it can be special is if the baby learns it while inside the womb and comes out clutching one of those folded things that predict the color of your crush's underwear. Now THAT is headliner news to me.

2. The "woman" who was written in the title is none other than the WRITER, Edna T. Belleza, who at the very least had the decency and lapse of ego to not write her full name in the title preceded by "Her Most Magnanimous" title. If the space allowed it, maybe. Really. Not even columnists have the balls to do that. The author then proceeds to write every so casually over what she did over the weekend as though the article is a blog post shared with a couple of friends. Part of my died every time she mentioned "Me", "Myself", and "I". Yes, you're doing what a parent is supposed to do. We get it.

3. Good parenting is teaching your kids that it's important to get involved in helping people when they are in need. Bad parenting is telling your kid that you can do this by sending somebody who just lost his home, his family, and his livelihood FOLDED PAPER, because some stupid legend says if you make enough you can get a wish granted. I can imagine a poor Japanese guy receiving a box from our country, happily opens it up, and finds a thousand poorly folded paper cranes that at best, can only provide heating for approximately 30 seconds of warmth, or alternatively, a supply of bodily fiber if he can bear to eat folded avians. "Kuso," he would tell himself and shake his fist at whoever ruined perfectly good paper just to say they care.

4. To top it all off, the project ISN'T EVEN FINISHED YET. And YET it's already headliner news. How's this for a more honest to goodness title: NOT DONE YET, BUT LOOKIE HERE! That's like having a property development group making a presscon about a building that's basically just a couple of struts sticking out of the ground "hopefully this will be finished soon, but just so you have an idea, you can live here someday". The press would probably get pissed and proceed to swing heavy construction tools at the marketing people.

How does an article like this get published?

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