6 More Stupid Things Drivers Do

Friday, April 08, 2011

1. When entering a parking lot via an electronically-dispensed ticket, some cars overshoot. Instead of backing up, or just getting out of their cars to get the card, they have to ask an attendant to hand it to them, as though their ass is glued to their seats and there's no way to get out without triggering massive rectal bleeding.

2. Not bothering with signal lights since they're just turning 'round the corner' as though there's some other use for turning signal lights other than that, and I somehow missed it during driving lessons.

3. Using carplate holders that tilt the plates forward. Theoretically these carplate holders are designed to fold down when you reach the speed of about 100kph, which is too fast for anybody to care about what license plate is on your car anyway. If you do stupid shit at speed, they won't need your license plate. They will need a tow truck and a very large shovel for hauling your car and your remains away.

4. Using tinted carplate holders, which when exposed to bright lights, tend to hide the plate numbers. Next to those ugly European Union underplates, this should be marked as capital crime punishable by being tacked with license plates on the driver's forehead with nine inch nails.

5. non-LTO sanctionedVanity plates. The worst part of this is that we already have a law against using vanity plates in lieu of the actual plates that can IDENTIFY THE VEHICLE, WHICH IS AS GOD INTENDED FOR LICENSE PLATES. The police are too scared of who they're going to offend, and people are too crafty to be bothered to be identified when they're fleeing from a hit and run accident. I propose a simple solution for this case. Any car caught wearing those plates should be legally open for being hit in the windshield repeatedly by a tire iron, or anything equally as hard. Empower the people, make the windshield sellers rich, fuck people who think having relatives in NBI is a ticket to insolence. It's Win-Win. Vote for me in the next election.

6. People who drive with their arms or elbows dangling outside the car. I'm pretty sure Filipinos aren't huge people. Some are, but most aren't. It seems though that for some people, the space inside the cars is still too small for them that they'd have to stick their arms out where it can conveniently get in contact with anything from tree branches to ten wheeler trucks. I'm thinking it's so they can high-five people in the other lanes quickly, just in case they found a situation that makes that a life-saving necessity. Otherwise, it's just fucking retarded.

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