Birthday Talk Doesn't Amuse Me

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Here's one more thing I don't get. How do people get away with realizing it's your birthday and then acting surprised that you're already one year older than the last time they saw you have a birthday? "Wow, you're 27!" Good job demystifying the puzzle, Sherlock. One year after my last birthday, I AM one year older. We didn't see that coming. Whoah.

Some people take it further, going all three bases fully loaded for the homerun of retardation by telling you "You're older now!". Think about it. Every time you say that to a person, even if it is not his birthday, it will always be true. "You're older now!" Say it ten times, it will still be true, for very small increments, like "You're a second older now!" "And now!" "And now!" "And - " click! bang! It's stating the obvious.

It'd be more interesting if people started saying "Wow, you're younger now." Because then, holy shit. How did that happen? If I were told that, I'd start tracking back to everything I ate and drank and try to figure out which part of my diet constituted the elixir of youth. Was it the sisig? Was it the half-consumed pizza that's been on my freezer for approximately 2.5 weeks?

And then there's the usual talk from the elders that go like "Oooh you're now. Shouldn't you be getting already? I hear is also looking forward to it already too." Now just fill in the activity for marriage, going abroad, or running for mayor(as is the tradition in some families, it's their coming of age thing). It's kind of pointless. The next time somebody does that, get back with Ooohhh you're now. Shouldn't you be getting a nice plot of land somewhere in Loyola already? I hear is looking forward to having cocktail parties in the afterlife too. Then it'd be fair and square.

I'm just saying.

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