Here's a list of common items you find on the workdesks of your officemates. I've taken the time to translate what they're trying to convey and what they really mean.
Anime Figurines
- I am a connoisseur of the oriental art of animation.
- I secretly masturbate to this figurine when nobody is around.
World's Best Dad Mug
- I have children who love me, hence the mug.
- My children are either largely unimaginative or gifted with the virtue of sarcasm
Lots of paperwork
- I'm a very busy person, back off.
- I hate mother nature, and digital information.
Certificates/Trophies
- I am the alpha employee in this office. Just take a look at it.
- But it doesn't make up for my small penis.
Pictures of Children
- My children are awesome.
- If you hate long long tales of my kid's firsts, avoid bringing that topic up.
Chinese ornaments
- I've very sensitive to the chi around me, which I feel compelled to protect with these artifacts.
- Sometimes, I see dead people.
Rubbing Alcohol
- I'm a very hygienic person.
- Sometimes, when we talk, I imagine bacteria coming out of your mouth hitting my face. Gross.
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1 comment:
so which one is you?
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