I'm not making shit up

Monday, October 01, 2012

I'd be more understanding if we didn't have the internet. I'd be more understanding if we still live in an age when the answer to every question regarding unexplained mystery includes the word "keebler elves". But we're not. We have the fucking internet, where questions get answered faster than multiple choice exams when it's time to pass the paper.

Why do people still feel that the government needs to support every other "pinoy" invention that pops up online? Take the water car for example. It's like every other year, somebody rediscovers that once upon a time somebody tried to convince people that cars could run on water, fucking sir Newton and his laws of thermodynamics ass-end. The only reason, these people assert, that cars aren't being fueled by Wilkins refilling stations is that the government won't support the invention. And now foreign companies are buying the invention and they'll be running cars on water abroad while we're stuck with old diesel and Vina Morales demo tapes here in the Philippines.

Firstly, that somebody's name is Daniel Dingel.

Secondly, he's in jail.

Thirdly, the "foreign" company that bought his invention sent him there.

For Fraud.

Listen. The whole "the government wont support me" thing? It's just an excuse for failed inventions. It's not like the invention is a space ship, or a new dam design, or even a presidential hair growth formula. Those are the things that need government funding to bloom (see what I did there?) but we're talking about a water car here.

Do you think the guy who invented bread actually had to have government funding? Did the fleshlight receive grants from the Japanese Government? No. But they're popular already anyway. We're talking about a car that runs on fucking water. WATER. If you show people it works, people will throw money at you. Everybody would pay top dollar for a chance to get out of the oil corporation's orgy of price increases. A lot of people will want to invest on stuff that they think will be profitable to them. That's why we call it capitalism. Because when you get that much money being thrown at you, everything you say WILL BE IN CAPITAL.

If I had a wicked awesome invention, say a water powered fleshlight (patent pending), the last thing I'd ever want is to have the government involved in it, although admittedly, the government would make good quality testers.

They're the experts in screwing, afterall. 

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