Twitter One-Liner Lowdown

To be human is to think alone and feel collectively.

That which does not kills us makes us reconsider insurance.

Wag mong gawing trabaho ang bagay na gusto mo kasi hindi pwedeng bigyan ng parehong paggalang ang bagay na iniibig sa bagay na pinagkikitaan

Mark my words, we will be spending 10 years trying to record everything in our lives and the next 10 years trying to erase them

It's easier to pretend that Marcos is the long and short of the evils of that era, rather than consider him as a mere symptom of the times.

In light of SM Pampanga shooting SM pulls back selling SM Bonus bullets and personal firearms.

Sorry men, dahil may anti-planking law na, bawal na manabla.

Walang basagan ng trip!

When was the last time protesting actually fixed the problem?Bullets change opinions faster than placards, though not always for the better

When I have a kid I'll name him Winter so whenever he gets invited to a party, he can answer in the coolest voice "Winter is Coming".

I'll never get why people say being rich doesnt make you happy. Give me 500 thousand peso bills and I'll slap 500 people with them happily.

Madaling sabihin na "window shopping" lang. Pero pano kung lumundag yung mannequin papunta sayo at sinabing di mo na sya kailangan bayaran?

Never a love in the world for naught, if never a late realization left unsaid.

If you want to get into somebody's good side, never bring up any topic on politics, religion, sex, or UAAP.

God bless social technology for serving as the best jerkwad detector of all time.

Sometimes its not about solving something. Sometimes its just the acknowledgement that the problem exists.

You know its for real when the whole world seems to conspire for and against it at the same time, and you cant be bothered to care. 

You mean the world to me, if I actually cared about the world I mean. 

Balang araw,lahat ng non-negotiables mo sa paghanap ng pagibig lulunukin mo rin. Kaya kung ayaw mo mabulunan, liitan lang ang requirements. 

Behind every great man is a woman. If there's none behind you, well, we can't all be winners now, can we? 

Ang hindi lumilingon sa pinanggalingan, mabilis matututo mamisikleta.

People keep saying "never settle for less". What they ought to be saying is "never settle for less if never is fine with you." 

Stop quoting Rizal as a Tagalog-user. He wrote his novels, poems, letters in Spanish, and watched Marimar undubbed (citation needed) 

The fastest way to find out you can't change the world is to actually go there. 

Lesson 4 today: Dont trade and drive. U myt get hit b4 ur sell orders does. 

Sana magkaseat sale dyan senyo para makaupo naman ako sa tabi mo... 

Right before the market takes a huge dive, the forum I go to turns into chaos. After only few posters remain - then it's buying time. 

I once was sad because I had no shoes. Then I saw somebody with no feet. Who was white. And a lady. I was scared into not wanting shoes. 

Ang pagibig parang taho. Hindi dapat puro tamis. Masarap sa umaga. Habang nakakalog, lumalabnaw. At higit sa lahat, mas enjoy pag sinisigaw. 

Love is a lot like a pizza delivery. Getting there at record speeds means nothing unless the other side opens up. 

When was the last time you experienced glory? The only real faith that matters is that of tolerance and respect. 

You can't always get what you want unless what you want is not always getting what you want. Problem solved. 

The fastest way to drive out a nail is with another nail, unless not having any nails is your objective. 

People sometimes tend to say that they want a lot of things. I'm willing to bet more than half of the time, a simple hug will suffice. 

Everybody needs a certain degree of liquidity. Money that you cannot spend when you need it is of no use to you. 

It's easy to blame others for your future, but from the future looking back, you'll realize there's only you. 

If you always go for win-win in a zero sum game, consider that somebody might be getting the lose-lose end. 

Filmmaking, stories, games and jokes got replaced with work, business and everything in between. Growing up is as boring as everybody says. 

The last product anybody ever really needs is contentment. 

Teach a kid to ask "where to" and then watch him go farther than the kids who ask "how far". 

The management ability most needed for survival is the ability to handle disappointment. 

Wanted to use this wit-phrase "Am I in Vienna? Because I'm surrounded by sausages." but cant because it sounds gay in 19/20 instances. 

A good teacher is worth a thousand books, and a good student, a thousand dissertations 

Some people take a punch in the face better than they take a joke. The rest tend to fare worse in the fist-to-face division. 

As children we were encouraged to write long essays and as adults we're encouraged to write short tweets. Ano ba talaga? O-o .