Signs you're getting older

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It's normal. It's expected. Yet for some reason aging occurs in such a subtle way that makes denial such a tempting option for most of us. Time is such a good thief of youth that it manages to spirit off chunks of your life with the subtlety of a customs official - without tripping any Senate enquiry and/or burglar alarms.

The whole process, however, is far from fool proof. Occasionally you get these reminders that you are, in  fact, slowly inching your way towards old age, demise, and horribly sagging testicles.

 Here are some signs that you are aging:

 1. The jeepney driver looks like he just got his license five days ago. He's listening to things you thought only hyperactive preteens listen to. (Justin Bieber? Really?) Also, he's driving like Takumi from Initial D, and not because it's all happy coincidence - it's because he grew up watching THE Takumi on TV.

 2. And your barber? Long gone is the grand old barber who seemed ancient enough to have cut Manuel Quezon's teenage hair. While he may not know jack about stylishness, he probably mastered his trade long before you even knew how to masturbate. He could  do a heart bypass with his trusty scissors and comb and that's why you're confident your hair will be cut properly. No, now, he's replaced by a guy who's probably about your age, or worse, younger, and there's that lingering feeling that you shouldn't be trusting him with scissors any more than you trust a five year old with a kitchen knife.

  3. Music sucks, and you have your own channel or radio program playing music that you like - and they're either called "rewind", or "retro" or simply "classics". 

 4. And it's pretty okay for you to accept that. 

 5. People you grew up admiring are dying off. Michael Jackson, Cory Aquino, Steve Jobs, Jimmy Santos (EDITOR'S NOTE: For the last fucking time Jet, he's not yet dead. Stop killing him in your articles) 

 6. All your friends in FB have turned into babies, if you're to believe their profile pictures. 

 7. Remember that time back in college when you attended like, 5 debuts a month and had to be eighteen roses/candles/condoms in at least three of them? You didn't even remember the name of the debutante half the time. Weddings are like that now. 

 8. You're appalled at the fashion sported by kids nowadays. 

 9. You're using the term "kids nowadays", clearly accepting you've long since graduated from the demographic. 

 10. Half the time you're online, you're reminiscing about childhood stuff that your younger friends have no idea of. And I'm not even talking about your inaanak. I'm talking about the new intern at work not knowing who Computer Man is and why he's badass. (hint: he can travel through electrical wiring. Why? because he's a badass computer man, that's why. Fuck you.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You always get my funny bone. Shit man, that Jimmy Santos joke made me ROFL IRL and I'm 18. :))

Great post!


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