Governments Should Be Run Like Corporations

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

MANILA, Philippines—The Supreme Court affirmed with finality the dismissal of three officials of the Public Estates Authority (now the Philippine Reclamation Authority) implicated in the cost padding of the P1.1-billion, five-kilometer President Diosdado Macapagal Boulevard in Pasay City.

So let me get this straight. Our bureaucratic red tape has gotten so bad that to fire three fuckers for screwing up on the job, it involved the highest judicial body in the country, 9 years (the filing of the complaint was in 2002) and 15 pages of reasoning? The only way that sort of effort for firing somebody can be justified is if we're firing somebody like Dolphy from the position of King of Comedy. Or maybe the Pope. Maybe. But these guys - these guys are MANAGERS. You know, a position a few steps above that guy who serves your hamburger in McDonalds.

Whatever happened to the good old "GET THE FUCK OUT YOU USELESS CUNT," way of thinking? If you have somebody under you who is acting inutile, shouldn't it be your god given right to replace that person? Take for example Virgilia Torres of LTO. Innocent or not, she's in hot water - and let's face it, the LTO hasn't been run this bad since the time horses were the only things plying our roads. People are clamoring for her resignation. Her resignation. I can't seem to wrap my mind around that idea. We're paying for this person to work, and she doesn't do as we please, and then the best we can do to replace her is to ask her to step down? Is there any other job in the world were that happens?

To be fair, the Japanese companies never really fire people. They shift useless people around like I shift dirt in my apartment when I have no dust pan. That's to humiliate people and then they finally man up and resign. Not here. If there's anything we can learn from the case of Merceditas Guttierez, dignity is not a prerequisite of life, however low. It sometimes makes me wonder how she manages to sleep at night without having to hire somebody to knock her out cold with a baseball bat every time.

Fire people. Our government and our leaders (those who matter, anyway) should start growing balls and kicking other peoples'. Hell, if we can't trust them, make the public do it. Let's have a show like Showtime where we get to vote out one official per week. We'll show nominations on Sunday, give them a week to state their case and a week for us to text in our votes, and then on Friday, Toni Gonzaga and Lucky Manzano will announce who will get escorted by the ever manly KC Concepcion who will punch the guy in the gut and drag the carcass away to be fed to Vina Morales for dinner. The proceeds of the text messages can be spent to support the rehabilitation of our nation's most endemic life form - Noynoy Aquino's hair.

It'd be the perfect show, and then we can use it to replace other shows so we won't have to put up with that show filled with hispanic-looking actors playing the role of protomalays. What's the name of that shit again? Amaya? Maaan I hate that show.

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