First Jokes

So what's the oldest joke you can remember? The oldest joke ever told to me that I can still remember comes from my sister. I was around three when she told this to me and she probably learned it from school (a resource I didn't have access to back then).

Sister: Gusto mo ng sampaloc?
Me: YESH!
Sister: *slaps* Sampal! *points up* Look!
Sister: Sige, pakwan na lang! Gusto mo?
Me: YESH!
Sister: *slaps* Pak! *lifts index finger* One!

Even then I found the joke corny, but for some reason I remembered it. The first joke I found funny and actually remembered came from my dad. Here's a rough translation of it:

A poor man got caught stealing a whole fried chicken by a security guard in a restaurant. Half-moved by pity, the guard decided to play a game with the poor man. "Okay," he said "you can eat the chicken on one condition - whatever you do to that chicken, I will do to you."

So the guy didn't do anything with the chicken first. But hunger got the best of him so he pinch the chicken's breast. The guard then promptly pinched him in the chest. The poor man flinched and could not eat the chicken.

Moved by hunger once more, he bit one of the chicken legs. The guard, surprisingly bit him as well. He winced from the pain and let go of the chicken leg.

The poor man thought long and hard and the security guard thought he finally dissuaded the poor man from eating the chicken.

Then, the poor man put the chicken's buttocks in his mouth.

I think I was already in Saudi when I first heard this joke, so I was probably four to five years old already.

So what's the oldest joke in your book? (tip: if it's a green joke, you may want to consider psychiatric help)