Heavy

You know, you shouldn't be walking around these parts with a laptop in your bag.

And why's that?

Snatchers, my friend, snatchers.

Do you have an idea how heavy my laptop is? Nobody will attempt to run away with this.

I wouldn't really say that. Experience told me otherwise.

Experience?

My Nintendo DS got stolen not too long ago and it's heavy too.

That's why it's called a DS LITE right?

...

...

It's heavy with my feelings of attachment.

Deterministic Crabstick

"So, are crabsticks coming from real crab or what?"

"It depends on which thought you'd rather entertain: that we have genetically engineered squared crabs or that you're eating something that's not crab made to taste like crab."

Twilight Talk

(1:36:09 PM) Jet-YM: dont get me wrong thought. anne rice is like hardcore jail material compared to twilight
(1:36:29 PM) closet_vampire_lover: SO VERY TRUE
(1:36:42 PM) Jet-YM: so i thought, hmm maybe twilight would be awesome. i liked interview with a vampire so...
(1:36:53 PM) closet_vampire_lover: hahaha
(1:36:57 PM) closet_vampire_lover: i know where this is going
(1:36:57 PM) Jet-YM: and then a few pages in, i was like "this is utter garbage. harry potter was better"
(1:37:15 PM) Jet-YM: I tried to find something that would redeem the novel. I really did
(1:37:21 PM) Jet-YM: and then the vampires started sparkling
(1:37:23 PM) closet_vampire_lover: dude
(1:37:29 PM) Jet-YM: i dont know why but i felt compelled to read on
(1:37:33 PM) closet_vampire_lover: THE LITTLE PRINCE IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY BETER
(1:37:48 PM) Jet-YM: and then one night, i was reading about twilight, my hands slowly started touching my nipples...
(1:38:02 PM) closet_vampire_lover: fuck
(1:38:04 PM) closet_vampire_lover: ok i wasnt expecting that

I'll let her Shake my Speare, if you know what I mean

(7:13:16 PM) anonymous: haha. actually. i used to dream that my future boyfriend and I will be like people from shakespear
(7:13:24 PM) Jet-YM: gay?
(7:13:25 PM) Jet-YM: O_O
(7:13:33 PM) anonymous: and we'd exchange long poetic lines with -eth and -oust
(7:13:45 PM) anonymous: not totally gay, anyway.
(7:13:47 PM) Jet-YM: doth thou wearest thine protection
(7:14:06 PM) Jet-YM: i put thine armor on my phallic
(7:14:16 PM) Jet-YM: chivalry shant be dead this forthnight
(7:14:27 PM) anonymous: hahaha.
(7:14:38 PM) Jet-YM: lest i expend my discharge on thine visage
(7:14:46 PM) Jet-YM: and quoth thee "Bukakketh"
(7:14:54 PM) Jet-YM: BUKAKKETH THEE

If I lived 400 years earlier, I'd probably the Duke of Hustlershire and the regent of Victoriacourt.