Two days ago, I read news about a "bike bomb" that had exploded in a public place in Iraq, killing people and injuring many more. Ah okay, a bike bomb. WAIT. WHAT?
First of all, damn. We already know for a fact that there are more carbombs in Iraq than cars. As a little experiment, count the number of passing cars that you see in newsclips shown on CNN everyday then count the number of carbomb explosions that you hear about that same day. See what I mean? You'd think after a while they'd just run out of cars to explode - and after hearing this news, I think they probably already did.
Now they're resorting to using bike bombs. At first I thought, wait, that's bike as in "motorcycle bike" right? Wrong. Not motorcycles, bicycles. I've heard of stupid terrorist ideas but this has got to take the cake (or gwalalalah or whatever they call cakes in the mideast).
It's a bike. Do you know how easy it is to find a bike suspicious? How much explosive can you strap into a mountain bike before people start thinking something's not right? I'm no expert in engineering but there's only so much you can carry on a bike. Shit, I can't even store a basket full of vegetables on mine without spilling them along the road halfway home. If you attach bombs to a bike, people WILL see it. Your failing attempt to balance on a piece of metallic shit strapped with pounds of explosive should be quite the sight as well (translation: pretty fucking stupid) so you really can't miss this sort of thing.
Many years into the future I will not be too surprised when they start running out of bikes and start using camels instead. By then I'd think of opening a shop there and start selling inline skates. Why?
Because inline skates are cool, that's all.
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2 comments:
Have you thought of the possibility of stuffing tnt or c4 in the bike tubing? The trigger need not be bigger that your ballpen cap. کلمات مرتبط! It need not take that long to dismantle the seat and stuff it there. It is even easier to stuff in the handles, by first pulling out the rubber handles.
Do you realize how fucking stupid that sounds? Okay, I'm going out of my way to help where. Hide it in a hollow rock. It costs less and you don't have to destroy a perfectly useful bike. As for hideability, I'm assuming Iraq is a country that has a lot of rocks so it shouldn't be to conspicuous carrying around a large rock. A bomb does not need wheels.
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