Quick Review of Upcoming Movies I Haven't Watched

I've Fallen For You

Touted (read: plugged shamelessly) by its producers as a love story with lots of Filipino values, here we see a Chinese girl and an American expat who can barely speak Tagalog without choking himself to death display the state of Pinoy culture (read:dying to nonexistent)

Ah well, it's still Kim Chiu anyway, whose fans are mostly composed of 40 year old married men and 20-something virgins so it'll still sell. I sometimes wonder why screenwriters even bother thinking of plot for these things. We can have the two standing there, not acting at all and they'd still rake money in. Oh wait...





The 11th Hour

Leo Di Caprio. Acting. Garbage. Nothing we haven't seen bundled together before so we might as well make this quick. 11th Hour can be referred to the sequel to "The Inconvenient Truth", and is just technically along the lines of hollywood sequels that you're not even sure why they're around (e.g. Resident Evil Extinction, Dr. Doolittle 3)

I'm still pretty clueless as to what makes producers think that something boring on Discovery Channel would become exciting when you project it into a large screen.



Kung Fu Fighter

Now I'm not really expert in marketing but I think we can say for sure, the title has quite an impact on a movie's overall initial impact on the audience. That said, the only initial impact this movie makes from its title is the sound of turd hitting the toilet water. I thought we were over and done with shitty oversimplified titles after we got tired of the Nintendo Family Computer. Can you imagine Matrix retitled as "Shooting Guns Slow" or something as epic as Rambo as "Blow Shit Up"?

Just no.


Highlander V: The Source

Just when I thought Hollywood was already finished raping the corpse of the first Highlander, they chuck this fifth installment at us without even giving a thought that this movie would have only been cool if it were shown TEN YEARS EARLIER.

Featuring a cast of nobodies and bad CGI's, The Source comes with fully loaded cheesy taglines like "GOOD VS. EVIL" and "THE ULTIMATE STRUGGLE" which makes you want to watch more - more other movies.