The Finer Points: Resident Evil 3 - Extinction

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

I actually thought I was already done with this Resident Evil shit. I enjoyed part one. Any movie with Michelle Rodriguez holding a gun is scary (see SWAT) so because of that and the rocking OST, part one passed. Then came Resident Evil Part Two. Oh ho, part two was a disaster that turned the franchise into less of a zombie flick and more of a Mortal Kombat sequel (the Nemesis-Alice rivalry subplot was dogshit stupid) More zombies were seen in Shake Rattle and Roll IV than Resident Evil Apocalypse.

After watching that movie I thought, wow they screwed that one up. Game over, I guess.

I guessed wrong.

Now we have Extinction, a homage to the realization if you place the set in a patch of desert near Tijuana, you can actually save a lot of money in production costs and actually revive a dead franchise like a zombie. If you haven't seen the movie yet, prepare to see sand. Lots of it. (you'd half expect Aladdin to come flying across)

One noticeable thing here is that apparently the production crew had learned from their previous mistake in making Apocalypse. Now they've chosen to let go completely of character development and cohesive plot and just start patching one awesome scene after another. The result? A movie that will make you go "AWESOME!" and "WHAT." alternatingly throughout the film and then start wondering as the credits roll "Where's the ending?"

Yes, much like the strangely acclaimed Pirates of the Carribean 2, this shit has the last 10 minutes missing again. After the heroes split up into two groups, the other group just disappears, inducing a "what the fuck" to anybody who actually tries to make sense of the madness.

Now without further ado, here are some of the notes that I was able to make while watching the movie.

- At some point, Alice shows a tracking device that could pinpoint the whereabouts of the Umbrella Satellite. It's high tech as fuck but oh I don't know, despite that, it just couldn't tell the time and she had to ask Crocodile Dundee the time. Nice.

- I'm not sure why but after the movie I wanted to drink Pepsi and buy a new Sony Viao laptop and go to the states to visit a K-Mart. Oh wait, I know. BLATANT PRODUCT PLACEMENT. Let's just say if a character ends up being named after a product a movie is advertising, like say a girl name KMART, it's a good sign that plugging may have gone TOO FAR.

- The schoolbus plow with metal screens on it was obviously from Romero's "of the Dead" movies. Whether on not this is homage or just ripping shit off, I'm not sure. And is it just me or is the bus driver a lot like Auto the bus driver from The Simpsons?

- Token black guy got killed as expected. Like Jazz from the Transformers. And that dude from Doom. And that guy from I Know What You Did Last Summer. Aliens 4? Anyway at least they're following that standard.

- During the scene leading to the final showdown, Alice goes down to the HIVE complex for the first time and sees lots of dead bodies, blood on the walls etc. Red Queen's sister (the computer) tells her the Nemesis dude is locked downstairs. Alice in theory is the first person to walk on that floor. Question is, who killed those scientists? If the Nemesis was able to go there and kill the scientists, why did he have to go back down to get locked?

- During the final showdown, Nemesis makes several barely noticeable passes at her, like a cat of sorts, scaring the audience and shit and makes Alice edgy. Now realize that if you're a two ton abomination, running around unnoticed in a pretty large room is hard - not to mention unnecessary. You're a two ton monster, not a goddamn ninja. ACT LIKE ONE.

- Apparently the T-Virus antidote makes you shit stupid. Just before Nemesis died, he acted like he's never seen the laser-cuts-you-to-shit room, even if he's been watching experiments run through it at least 87 times (see specimen count).

- Ali Larter is fucking hot, be it in Heroes or in this movie. It's obvious that the reason she didn't die is not because she's fucking leet like Alice. It's because the zombies want to hump her, not eat her.

- The superhuman powers of Alice kinda takes away the thrill of wondering if she can actually be killed (kinda answers the question what if Superman were in a zombie movie).


- Why is Eminem head of the Umbrella Corp?

Anyway with all those said, I still think this movie is worth the watch, if only because the wanton killing of zombie fodder is always something to enjoy.

This movie is actually somewhat a preview of what next year's Devil May Cry movie will be like - filled with awesome scenes, devoid of plot, and has kick ass soundtracks by the man, Marilyn Manson.

And yes, there will be Resident Evil 4. Will I watch again? Ali Larter pretty much answers that question. :)