Currently Addicted To...

Friday, March 30, 2007

The beta test was whack. I got lost around this village called Baclaran today on my way to my in-game sister's graduation ceremony. Controls are still a bit shocking, as I find myself looking for something to click when talking to other players. WTF is this interface anyway? They should at least include "fingers" in the damn manual.

Also ingame sex. But it's only available for premium accounts.

So there.

The God Protocol

Of all the recent collaborative writing projects that I've been part of, I find the contents of The God Protocol most interesting. The story is the brainchild of master loresmith Karasawa Rui from Ragnaboards and I've collaborated with her in writing some 10 chapters or so. The God Protocol mainly deals about alchemy and the mad scientific race to create the perfect homunculus, an artificial human designed to rival a god.

Though the project is unfinished and only semi-active, I've already developed a special liking in the existing chapters for the intellectual flavouring of the dialogue and narratives. And while these dialogues and narratives are not really core to the story's plot points, they do raise interesting arguments if only for entertainment purposes.

Here are some of the quotes. Blue coloured lines belong to Karasawa Rui.


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Science has been, for all its lengthy and obscure existence, an evolutionary path that man has taken in his unending quest of improvement. Long since abandoning the original goal of survival, evolution is leading him towards a completely new destination - the attainment of perfection, the attainment of Divinity.


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My father once told me - and he was a man of very few words - that Science, by all rights, should be considered a perversion of itself unless it has, as its ultimate goal, the betterment of humanity. That the most radical, most unethical, most immoral of experiments should be allowed and not be judged at face value, so long as they were performed with the interests of humanity in mind. No boundary should exist to impede progress, no law to impede evolution - for such an act would be completely illogical, even heretical, to the human instinct of transcendence.

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Perhaps the ultimate purpose of fate, if there is such a thing, is to make life as entertaining as possible to the All Father’s all-seeing eye. Of all the Houses that I could have worked with in that project, it just had to be that daughter of Tesla. A common riffraff is what I saw that day. It took a very long time for that to change, if for anything significant at all.


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The world needs to realize that relying on something that we were never meant to utilize would mean being irrevocably crippled as a whole if it somehow disappeared. The world needs to realize that it needs something real, something concrete to rely on.

The world needs to realize that magic is only a crutch it has no business leaning on.

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Because in a world where science is a blood sport filled with athletes, super athletes, coveted prizes, and records set for eternity, it's not who you are but what you entirely accomplish with your life that defines your existence.

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I've always likened - mentally AND physiologically - debating with Valeria to a checkers match being played by two very sore losers, the Edison protege and I as the aforementioned sore losers, of course. Imagine two competitors, ridiculously even-matched on a game based completely on even grounds and level playing fields. There would be no clear victor - every match would either end in a draw, a stalemate, or overtime. A classic case of MAD - Mutually Assured Destruction - unless either side does something against the rules, something so underhanded and immature and unfair that it disrupts the playing field completely.

In checker terms, it would be tantamount to either me or Valeria violently and suddenly upsetting the game board itself, sending a pretty shower of red and black chips all around.

In experimentation terms, it's Valeria pulling rank just to get what she wants.

Pity. I expected no less of her.

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Science in its very essence is anti-intellectual. It does not encourage man to think. The true nature of science encourages man to be empirical - to believe only what can be seen, measured, proven by the senses. Philosophy on the other hand, strives for usage of rationality to explain and reveal the possibilities with mental postulation. Philosophy is the eyes that visualize and science is the feet that bring one closer to what he sees.

To achieve great things in life, one must be more than just a scientist; one also has to be the perfect philosopher.

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It is said that man's method of walking is a series of calculated falls - a balancing act of one instinctive mistake counteracting another. Science can be likened to that phenomenon. Science, like walking, is an art of channeling serendipity from the countless failures that serve as its foundation. It is an art of sacrifice.


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The latest copy of the story can be found in Ragnaboards.

Random Static

Thursday, March 29, 2007



Damn, I should've been hired by Bazooka Joe to do those tiny comic strips that almost always makes no sense. Anyway, as said in the title, free extra insider joke for people in the know. Double D! Asan na yung banner ko?? J/K

The Ones Killed By Piracy And Time

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

For those of you who are too young to remember (and probably have never been to the province), once upon a time, we didn't have those fancy printed movie posters to tell us what was showing in the local cinemas. We had huge canvases of handpainted movie posters that ranged from artistic to picasso-on-crack in terms of artistic accuracy. It was the fanart of its time, except the guys who got commissioned to do the paintings weren't really fans.

There are very few of these billboards/posters now, mainly because of cheapening costs of large-scale prints and partly because of the death of our local movie industry from piracy. Nowadays, there are so few of these pieces, I had to borrow off from another country using the same practice as ours to show you examples. Apparently, they also used to do this in Russia, and these colorful canvases are now being sold as art pieces for hundreds of dollars.

Good ones are works of art. The bad ones are just pure comedy. It's win-win publicity.

Here are some examples.

Man in black with bloated ass and robotic gun arm, part 2.

Terminator 3, subtitled "Zorro Has A Drill But No Hat",
back to back with The Fast And the Furious 3
(and the missing steering wheel)

X-Men's Sabertooth is the prince of Troy in Troy.

50 First Dates, Directors Cut.
(featuring: Lucy with more extensive brain damage
and Puerto Rican Adam Sandler)

Matrix 3. This classic work of art Neo with what appears to be
beer-wasted human torch and an appendage
shaped like a member of the russian mafia holding a gun.

See what I mean? Priceless.
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Special thanks to http://www.DesignBoom.com for the images.

Still More Quotes

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Just the routine periodical digest of quotes, status messages, and one-liners I've made for the status message of this blog and my yahoo messenger. Again, all of these are originals and none of these were made to be taken seriously. If in case you find a quote appealing enough to be copied, LOL.
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I used to think Celeron was an autobot who can transform into a vegetable.

Every decision is a blind corner. We should learn to listen to others who can see what we're getting into.

And then you realize that the true power of love is not in how much it can change you, but in how much you can change somebody you'd think you've absolutely no power over.

Where there's a will, trite parody ensues.

I'm so manly, when i cry man tears, semen comes out.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, forbid your children to do it, tell an engineer it's possible. (adapted)

The true tragedy of the sought-after bridge is that nobody ever really comes for it , but for what's beyond it.

Childhood dreams fade the moment you learn you cant save everybody everytime

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the burning house.

A scarred heart bruises less.

No war is every won without somebody deciding to lose

If pirates are producing the pirated, I should belong to the exrates.

If less is more, how much "more or less"?

Having my quotes quoted makes me the father of a kid right after he gets adopted.

Wait, we're celebrating Chinese New Year Even when we're not Chinese and it's not New Year?

Nobody calls Christmas "Pagans-who-dont-get-gifts-from-men-in-red Awareness Day". Stop calling Valentine's "Single Awareness Day" Losers need not be reminded of their sucky states. We have Mtv for that purpose.

If ever vegetables rule the world, I can safely say "I never willingly ate your kind"

If ever the world will be ruled by vegetables I'll bet the Onions will be leading opposition

Would You Like Some Whine With That?

Monday, March 26, 2007

The other day I was reading a particular entry from Dilbert Comic artist Scott Adams's blog about customers who enjoy complaining. He said that some people complain not to get the solution to their problems but just to complain, period, like it's their own sick form of fun.

I thought to myself: it's possible, but I never really thought I'd see somebody like that first hand. Boy, was I speaking too soon, or what? Yesterday I witnessed first-hand the proverbial customer-from-hell.

At first I thought it was just a fluke, like she was some sort of agrieved customer who just had a bad day. We were eating breakfast by the main dining hall of the diving resort while she was ranting to the waiters about the horrors of food poisoning. Or, to be more specific, potenial food poisoning. She was complaining about why the fruits were being left out in the open without refrigeration and started mentioning the possibility of it being infected by something like an airborne african flying sickness virus or something. She was citing sources from stuff I only hear in Discovery Channel (or at least what I think I hear from that channel. She wasn't exactly the credible kind)

The argument sounded stupid, like "In theory I can delete the internet if I start with my own PC" kind of stupid. But I let it go since it was 8 in the morning and she was probably just left out in the sun an hour too long.

Later that day we found her complaining just outside the dormitories that she wasn't able to get the names of the shuttle drivers who drove their group to the resort. After she got the names, she complained that the shuttles were not being warmed up for their usage and there's a chance the shuttles might break down.

The following morning she was complaining about not being able to get a good view from her table and insisted having her breakfast by the windows of the main hall. After eating, she complained about not having her bags packed yet by somebody I dont know anymore.

Note that I have no interests in following her. Or finding out what she has to rant about. It's just that every freaking time we come across her, she was complaining about something. I swear, there was no instance during my stay in the resort that I saw her mouth moving WITHOUT a word of complaint coming out of it. Her complaints are basically like radiation. When you're near her, you just take it all in, whether or not you want to, and it's always bad for you.

Why, she's basically what I imagine of a real-life political blogger.

But why was she doing the whine-a-thon?

I was thinking, was she the owner of the resort? Everybody called her ma'am. But then again, she was saying she wanted to see the view for a change since it's her last day that day so I'm thinking anybody who owns the resort would be tired of the view by now.

Then maybe, I thought, she's just rich. Again, I realize that she's staying in the single-room dorms and not the cottages where the classy folks are staying.

After a couple of days staying in the same resort as her, I've come to the undeniable conclusion that she's just a blabbering vagina. This woman finds entertainment/therapy in whining. Whintertainment, so to speak. Anybody who comes close to her gets this sour-faced reaction usually associated with anal probe sessions.

I was actually wishing for her to find something to whine about me so I can suckerpunch her between her eyes. Since I'm already expecting her to whine about it and she's already currently whining, nothing much will change, but I'll feel that I'd have returned the inconvenience she's dealing to everybody around her at least to a degree.

I'm thinking she'd have other whines I wasn't around to suffer from it. They'd probalby sound like these:

- The sea is too salty.

- These fish, why aren't they talking as advertised by Finding Nemo?

- Make the water so I can breath underneath without these awkward snorkels.

- Can you take the teeth off these sharks? They can be dangerous.

- What are you doing with that hammer? That's dangerous too. Wait. What are you going to do with that? Waaaah *thud thud thud* my skull! *thud thud thud* aaagh I'm bleeding like a crushed grape *thud thud thud*

Well, yeah. Seems my imagination is working fine.

It's a resort. Not a customer support center.

A Day In The Life Of

Thursday, March 22, 2007

It's amazing how sometimes you just suddenly remember things that you've forgotten already. A few minutes ago, after reading this line in my chat window:

(16:55:54) Jet: salamat po ^^

I suddenly remembered how it was for me everyday as a highschool kid. I remember being dropped off every morning by the school service near Parañaque wetmarket by the schoolbus driver who insists Jai Alai can make him a millionaire

I remember checking for the latest issue of Funny Komiks. I remember stealing a peak at the morning tabloids at about the same time as that. Then I'd walk by the alley where flowers are sold and wonder if it's my turn to go offer flowers for the Virgin Mary in our classroom. Then I'd pass by the iron gates leading to the church. I remember seeing an old lady who always says "Maawa sa bulag po" holding up a delapidated valvoline cup with very few coins.

I'd put in a coin or two and hearing her say "Salamat po!" with sincere, glad eyes made me feel good. Sometimes she wasn't there. Sometimes it was her just as blind husband. Eitherway I gave what I could.

After that I'd drop by the adoration chapel and say a short, monotonous prayer - the same one I'd utter every night before I sleep:

Lord, forgive me for all the wrongs I've done, the wrongs I'm doing, and the wrong's that I'll be doing (note: probably in anticipation of the following morning's session of tabloid viewing). Lord sana po hindi ako maulila. Lord sana po hindi ako bumagsak sa Science. Lord sana po hindi na ako managinip ng masama.

I'd exit the adoration chapel and proceed inside the school where I'll be checking out what homework everybody's copying. I'd leech off paper from one of my friends or, if I can't, I'd defeatedly walk to the forever scowling Ester of the canteen's bookstore (don't ask) and actually buy paper worth five pesos.

I'd go copy whatever assignment and then proceed to talk to my friends about the episode of WWF Raw the night before. Morning bell rings. Morning over.

That was ten years ago.

I've long since stopped passing by the wet market, the flower shop, and the tabloid stand. (and no, I'm no longer excited by those things).

The schoolservice driver never became a millionaire. All he got for it was chump change and a divorce. Win-win? I don't think so.

What became of the blind old lady, I'll never really know. I hope for better tidings, but I'm not too good an optimist. Maybe she's still there. Maybe she'll still there but only in spirit. Salamat po!

I no longer pass by the adoration chapel. My prayers have shrunk siginificantly and became lower in frequency. Less requests, more thanks. Was it for the better? I'm not really sure. I'd save discussing religion for another day.

I no longer have assignments to copy. For what it's worth, I learned how to copy shit really really fast while trying to learn what I'm writing at the same time - sorta like Teevo, but more sinister.

I no longer use intermediate paper, or any paper other than bondpaper - the backs of photocopies or printouts. If possible, I avoid using my ugly handwriting (which, inconveniently, disabled me from forging my own excuse letters.)

Ester is still in the canteen, my younger peers tell me. She still has the scowl. A bad expression really is for eternity. I bet those barbecues they've been trying to sell us are still the same stock they're conning kids into buying now. Somebody should carbon date those things just to check out if they're dinosaur meat.

WWF ate WCW up and became WWE. Kane who was supposed to be a burn victim now show's his flawless skin on everybody. Pall Bearer is dead, Ric Flair is decaying, and Undertaker still looks young.

Me? I'm ten years older. I certainly have changed a lot since then. For better or worse, I'd rather not guess (but if my life depended on it, I'd go for worse).

And then I'd think, all these memories, why are they still around? They are neither important to what I do for a living nor significant enough to be worth remembering.

I realize, at the end of what you make of a day, you become what the day makes of you. And these little changes done to you by what you do, they pile up - like a compost pit of cause and effect. And in time, your personality blooms from this pit.

Also I realize what I just said won't make much sense for quite a while. Maybe when I read this entry again in ten years it will. Or maybe never, but I won't know until I read this again. Or maybe I'll never get to read this again - like if it disappears in a couple of years, because we never really know, right?

Then one day I'll see something that will make me remember again.

(16:55:54) Jet: salamat po ^^

A day in the life of.

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p.s.
I'll be going to our company outing starting tomorrow so I won't be able to post for a while. At the earliest, I'll be posting this coming Sunday.

Takdang aralin: Anong karanasan mula sa iyong kabataan ang alam mong hindi naman importante pero naaalala mo pa rin magpahanggang ngayon?

Alternative Fuels

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

We should start considering if these things can be turned into alternatives to fossil fuel because we're definitely not running out of these anytime soon:

- Texters who think theyre being stolen from by Globe when the company pulled out the unlimitext promo.

- Bloggers who keep on repeating Richard Gomez should not run because he has no credentials as though nobody's really stated the obvious before.

- Bloggers who think searching the net for random videos and articles and reposting it on their site is synonymous to writing.

- The massive amount of "awww", "asa" and "wa" words being generated by Filipino chatters/gamers/e-tards every minute.

- Chain messages.

- Inconsiderate cavemen who think chain messages are real and forward them to everybody else.

- Drivers who don't know the logic of the "passing lane".

- People who think "assassin" is the same occupation as "hitman". (protip: theyre not)

- Ever increasing flashes of the obvious by political thinkers online.

- Stupid people in general. ( Though I wouldn't encourage openly burning them. That's my air they'll be contaminating.)

- Programs I have to code.

Speaking of which, I best be getting back to work.

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Yeah, yeah, I'll be writing something with more content tomorrow or on Friday or whenever I get free time.

Also, a completely unrelated public service reminder:

PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING DRUGS WILL KILL YOU.

Frank Miller's 300 Quotes

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Well not really quotes. More like quotes that never really made it through the final cut. Here are some scenes that you never got to see in the epic movie that is 300. (warning: spoilers)

Frank Miller's 300 Outtakes:

Spartan King Leonidas: You wear the crimson of a Spartan...
Hunchback Spartan: My father says it highlights my curves.

Hunchback Spartan: Why?! Why? Can't I join you?!
Spartan King Leonidas: Dude, can't you see the title? It's 300, not 301.

Clueless Persian Messenger: Why are they all in bikini trunks?
Clueless Persian Messenger: Hmm. We're going to what looks like a pool to me.
Clueless Persian Messenger: Pool party!
Clueless Persian Messenger: But where's the water?
Clueless Persian Messenger: Doesn't matter, I'll just stand by the pool.
Clueless Persian Messenger: Aight, this is where it's happnin yo!
*Leonidas kick*
Clueless Persian Messenger: Aaaaah! Not funny guys! There's no water!

Persian Messenger: Choose your words well, Spartan King.
Spartan King Leonidas: *silence*
Spartan Queen: *silence*
Persian Messenger: Well?
Spartan King Leonidas: I'd like to buy a vowel please.

Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast,
Spartan King Leonidas: for tonight we dine in Hell!
Stelios: So where's lunch?

*take 2*

Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast,
Spartan King Leonidas: for tonight we dine in Hell!
Stelios: Can I order take out?

*take 3*

Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast,
Spartan King Leonidas: for tonight we dine in Hell!
Stelios: With Sizz -
Spartan King Leonidas: God damnit Stelios, say one more witty remark and you'll
Spartan King Leonidas: be getting your dinner sooner than a 30 minute guarantee.

Spartan Queen: Spartan, come back with your shield. Or come back on it.
Spartan King Leonidas: Wait, that's like shield surfing right? Cowabunga, dude.

Spartan King Leonidas: Arcadian, what is your profession?
Arcadian: I play arcade, sir!

Spartan King Leonidas: You, other arcadian dude, what is your profession?
Arcadian: I'm a potter sir.
Spartan King Leonidas: Potter?
Arcadian: *puts on glasses and wand* Potter.

Persian emissary: The thousand nations of the Persian Empire descend upon you! Our arrows WILL BLOT OUT THE SUN!!!
Spartan: Haha. We should start considering inventing sunblock instead. Really.

Spartan King Leonidas: My queen. My wife. My love.
Arrows: *attack by the millions*
Spartan King Leonidas: Fuck. How do I explain to her the holes in my shirt?

Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! What is your profession?
Spartans: Ahoo! Ahoo! Ahoo!
Spartan King Leonidas (to Daxos) : See old friend? I brought more soldiers than you did.
Daxos: You do realize that your men couldn't even answer properly. Do you?
Spartan King Leonidas: God, I hate you Daxos.

Daxos: *seeing tree of the dead* Have the Gods no mercy?
Spartan: Who could have done this?
Kid: They- they came from the blackness.
Spartan: Mr.T?

Xerxes: "The world will never know you existed at all!"
Spartan King Leonidas: Wait till you see the movie they'll make about this.

Xerxes: Dig the bling, yo.

(this post is intended for tomorrow but since I'll be very busy, I'm posting this now)

The Princess And The Garden

After months of nothingness I'm finally able to write another short story in the format of an apologue. The construction is pretty rough but I want to let the piece stay in its extempore form. While the setting is borrowed from Ragnarok Online, if you take away the word "Prontera" and replace it with some magical kingdom name, it's good as neutral already.

The Princess And The Garden by Redkinoko

Once there was a young princess who lived in an aging castle by the far end of the Pronteran countryside. The kingdom itself was not poor but because it was out of the way of major cities and far from any places of interest, few visitors ever came to the place.

Every morning, the young princess would go to the front balcony and look out at the single winding road leading to her castle. There, she would eagerly wait for visitors to come - but few ever do.

Just below the balcony was a wide expanse of grass garden - maintained by an old man and his son who was about at the princess's age. Everyday, after the gardener boy's tasks were completed, he would go outside the castle, into the forest and did not return until the sun set. The princess never really noticed this since she was always too busy waiting for vistors to come.

Then one day, she was surprised to see the boy call out to her from the garden one evening. "Princess, I've gathered these flowers for you," he proudly said while raising a wonderous bouquet of wildflowers never seen outside the dark forests. "They show my feelings for you and I would be delighted if you could accept them."

The princess was delighted at the sight of the flowers, but at the thought that a lowly gardener would come to woo her, she refrained from taking them from him. "I wait in this balcony for my prince to come, see," replied the princess. "I cannot accept these flowers for they do not come from the man of my dreams."

The boy smiled, gave a gentleman's bow, and left.

The following morning, the same pattern happened. The princess stayed by the balcony, the gardeners tilled the soil, and the boy disappeared into the forest for the rest of the day.

Nothing much was to ever change, it seemed to the princess as the days went by. That is, until one day, she noticed that some things were indeed changing. By the garden, a row of flowers had begun budding. It was a refreshing to her eyes to see something new growing out of the garden. Everyday, a new set of colours would grace the slowly developing garden. In time she started looking forward to seeing the slow transformation of her garden. She still kept her sight at the empty roads beyond, but at the same time, she found replacement happiness in watching the flowers multiply.

Months passed by and the garden began to blossom into a beautiful paradise. It was said to be more beautiful than that of the Royal garden in the Holy Capital of Prontera. By word of mouth, people began to learn of the garden of the castle and travelers from all over the land flocked to the castle to see the garden with their own eyes.

The princess was all too glad to see visitors finally coming in. She wanted to thank the yung gardener boy who probably helped out in making the place more popular but she could not find him.

A few years later, a prince from the neighboring kingdom came for a visit, and in a pleasant turn of events the princess fell in love with the prince. A wedding was immediately planned, followed by a lavish banquet.

This time, the princess could not let pass being wed without thanking the gardeners who made the garden such a wonderful place. She went to the house of the gardeners one night and was greeted by the old gardener.

The princess thanked the old man for the garden and offered to grant him anything he wished. The old man smiled and wished that she would hear out the garden's story. The princess, puzzled by the gardener's request, promtly agreed.

By the table, the man finally told the story of the boy who maintained the garden. It was said the the boy had fallen for the princess the moment he saw her sitting by the balcony. Everyday, after his work, he would go to the forest at the risk of his own life to forage for the rarest of flowers that he thought would please the princess.

After he got rejected, however, the young gardener did not change his dreams. Instead, the boy told his father, that if he could not fulfill his dream of ever being with the princess, he would instead fulfill hers. At great pain, the boy started gathering seeds of the rare flowers from the forest and studied how they could be grown from the garden.

If the garden becomes famous, the boy told his father, all the princes from the kingdoms will surely come. Slowly but surely, he made sure of this - though at the effort that he put into the task, his body was slowly worn away by the difficulties of going to the forest everyday.

As the garden began to blossom, the boy's health waned. Not long after that, he became terribly ill and had to leave the care of the garden to his father. Just before the boy died, his father asked as to why he went to that extent just to make the garden beautiful. The boy smiled and replied,

"This world is filled with dreams of people - many of which will never be realized. Sometimes, some dreams need to be lost for others to be fulfilled. I made a promise to myself that I will make the princess happy no matter what - at any cost. And since I found out that I could not make her happy with my dreams, the only thing left to do is to make her happy with hers - even if I know it would cause me to lose mine. I think that's what true love is, father. To be able to find real happiness in the joy of those we care for."

Upon hearing the old man's tale, the princess found only error in her ways and began to cry uncontrollably. She then started thinking of calling off the wedding to be held the following night.

The old gardener only smiled and patted the princess by the shoulders. "My son has given up his dreams so you could realize yours," he said with a warm tone, "if you would not want his life to be wasted, you shall realize yours and be a happily wed queen of this castle."

With that heard, the princess finally smiled and thanked the gardener. The wedding was held the following day with much fanfare by the garden that now had more flowers than any other in the world.

And of all the gifts that came that day, there was one particular endowment that the princess was ultimately thankful for - the garden itself -

A gift of selfless sacrifice and true love.

The End.
 

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