More Reasons Why Nobody Takes Newspapers Seriously Anymore

I think I've had enough entries here in Public Static about how the newspaper Phil. Daily Inquirer and Responsible Journalism tend to go hand in hand like used abortion spoons and Catholicism. Honestly, I used to think PDI was one of those better newspapers that had a more human touch to their reporting as compared to the Manila Bulletin which was the preferred newspaper around the house for so many years. Maybe it was naivety of youth, either that or PDI really just degenerated from a vital information source to yet another one of those panic bullshit journalist bodies called tabloids. It seems like every big event they cover get turned into even bigger events. Here's today's front page:
Yesterday was something like that too. You'd think you'r reading those fictional newspaper headlines from comic books about the apocalypse. Anybody outside the market wouldn't really realize that the plunge is just a 5% average drop in world market indexes and is far from level of collapse.

In the article, the guys over at PDI were so nice to tell the world that our local banks will be devasted because of Lehman Brothers' closure, which kinda tells you to withdraw all your money and keep it in a huge chest to be burried in your back yard. The real deal? Most banks don't even have any exposure. RCBC, BDO and other big banks report less than 1% asset exposure, which, according to the great book of common sense, is anything but "devastating".

The world is changing, but how it's happening is not exactly how it's written down on newspapers. Whatever happened to making sure the readers get as close to the turth as possible? I understand that people have to sell their wares have to survive but panicmongering despite being one of the pillars of communication is just too low a level to sink in.

I'm not saying there is no crisis going on. There is and yes, everybody will be feeling the effects, even you and me, except Ben Tumbling (because he's dead already). I just hope people realize they're just making shit worse by panicking, or worse, capitalizing on the panic and ignorance as an excuse to sell more instead of using the opportunity to actually fill the gap of ignorance with useful and accurate information.

What a disappointment.

Filipinos and Haggling

It's a cultural thing. To the lot of us Filipinos, a price tag isn't a finality. It's a challenge that should be brought down. A Filipino will haggle the price of a car down to a peso if you'd let him.

Red Kinoko Tours Presents: Macau

Macau

Macau is one of those cities where the main attraction is the city itself, like Amsterdam, New Orleans, and Vigan. It's what Hong Kong would've been had it been given the inert laziness of Southwest Europeans instead of the crustiness of the Brits. Think of the place as Hong Kong's weird brother who has an excessive gambling problem, but is fun to hang out with anyway. Languages spoken are English, Chinese, Portuguese (which is like Spanish with lots of weird letters you don't find in the standard alphabet).

People here use both Macau money called a Patacos or something (I can't really remember) or MOP. Hong Kong dollars are also accepted in almost all transactions, but the change given will be in MOP or a mixture if sufficient HKD change is not available. Conversion rate is roughly 100HKD = 103MOP.

To get around, there are taxis, shuttles and buses. Taxis are relatively cheap, with an 11 HKD minimum fare and a 1 dollar increment that is charged by the minute of travel time. Free shuttles get you around most casinos, although some require you to gamble a bit first before being able to board these shuttles. Buses are similar to HK buses in terms of fare costs.

Macau is famous for three things: Casinos, funny looking houses, and Russian hookers. The objective of our trip is to cover those three things and whatever else catches our fancy, and we have to be home on the same day.

Transit

We arrived at Central HongKong's Macau Ferry Terminal at around 10:30 and promptly left around 10:40. Immigration will check your passport and immigration slip so it's best if you have those at hand. An economy (read: masa) ferry ticket cost us around 147HKD and the travel time is 1 hour across rather smooth seas. And yes, there is a comfort room located within the ferry.

Macau Proper

After disembarking at around 11:40, we got stuck for almost another hour in the immigration hall because of the sheer number of people coming in on a perfectly fine Saturday morning. I got a bit disappointed since I was seeing far fewer Portuguese than I expected (and none of them were wearing the traditional armor I envisioned them to wear for casuals).

After exiting the terminal, we went to the visitor's information booth and basically took every type of brochure and map in the place. At this point, it's already 1pm and we were hungry. There's no real place in the terminal where you can eat. I already started thinking that maybe people in Macau consume petrol. We decided to go to The Venetian Macao first and start finding food there instead. Fortunately, there are free shuttle buses going to the Venetian which is quite far from the terminal (i.e. across the goddamn country).

Venetian Macau

The Venetian Macau is a hotel/casino and is one of the best attractions of Macau. We arrived after 20 minutes of bus travel and proceeded to the food court. The food court is the only real option you have around this place if you're on a relatively limited budget like me. A meal anywhere else fetches at least 200HKD, while the food court sells good food at around 70HK (I bought seafood rice from the Singaporean kiosk). Cheapskates should be happy to find other food there that costs 30HKD + (drinking) fountain water. The trick is to know which fountains are for drinking and which are for coin throwing/wishing. The food court is decent and not like the ones we have in SM, so don't worry too much about hygiene.

Features we visited that you may want to visit in the Venetian are as follows:

- St. Mark's square, a replica of the plaza of the same name in Venice Italy, only this version doesn't have the turbid water, flooding, and bird poop of the original place. The painted skies are really realistic.

- Gondolas. We didn't really ride these boats manned by Filipino bangkeros singing in Italian since we can get as much service riding a pedicab on a flooded road back in Manila for much less, but hey, they're in costume so a few photo-ops aint so bad.

- Chalk drawings. Pretty amazing stuff. 3D drawings on a 2D floor, the same things you see on the internet. Just wander around near St Mark's and you'll eventually stumble on it.

- Human statue performers. Actors posing as statues are littered across the various well designed alleys of the shopping arcade. You almost think they're real performing gypsies from Rome (minus the European Eu du Putok scent).

- Last place you can go inside here that's not the casinos is the Grand hall, which is a big circular hall that connects all four wings of the casino/arcade area, featuring hand painted frescoes and exquisitely detailed posts and ceiling vaults that you can marvel at from the center area.

- If you think you can walk, the facade outside the venetian is a replica of Venetian buildings. There are designated Photo-op areas on the left side of the main entrance of the hotel. We skipped this, and took pictures of the place instead while on the bus departing from the Venetian. (yeah, yeah, we missed it. make sure you don't)

After a bit of tripping, we boarded a free shuttle bus going to Sands Casino which is located back near the Ferry Terminal. So far, so good.

Sands Casino

Sands isn't as big as The Venetian, and admittedly the only reason we went here is so we can jack a free ride. If you go to the second floor, you can catch Russian hookers/exotic dancers onstage, presumable to stand as a reminder to the girls who are frequenting the tables of what they might end up as if they put a bit too much into the losing bet. It would be interesting to mention now that in most places of a casino, you are NOT allowed to use your phone or your camera or your camera phone.

We spent roughly 20 minutes in this place and then took our leave through the main exit and went across the street to Fisherman's Wharf.

Fisherman's Wharf

The Wharf is basically an amusement park that looks like what Enchanted Kingdom's fancy facades should look like. We went to the arcades beneath the volcano-ish structure called The Underground just to see what stuff they had there and then went on to Aladdin's Fort to the THRONE OF THE PRETENDER (end: obscure Nickelodeon gameshow reference). Littered all over the place are replicas of famous locations around the world, ranging from Trafalgar Square to the Coliseum, to New Orleans to Somalia (complete with downed Black Hawk). This place also offers a nice view of the bay and a strangely shaped bridge across the distance. If you see Abu the security guard (dressed as a Persian dude) say Hi for me.

Towards the other end of the place is a large Chinese/Korean castle, a Zen Garden and a Coy pond. I presume by now you're dead tired from all the walking. There are benches there for you to take a breather. One nice thing about this place is that there are hardly any people even during Saturdays.

After this, we flagged down a taxi (coloured black and white, kinda like police cars) and asked the driver via picture instruction to take us to the Ruins of St. Paul.

Ruins of St. Paul

The fare ride costs us 25HKD, which is about as much as what you'd pay from Manila to Ortigas. The Ruins of St. Paul is the icon of Macau (as mentioned earlier), presumably because placing a casino as your national symbol puts you somewhere near the "Fucked up" zone in the Sodom and Gomorrah scale of lechery. Russian Hookers as a national icon was taken already by Amsterdam so Macau settled for a destroyed church.

To be honest, the only reason you'd go to this place is for the sake of having gone to the place. At the back of the church, there's a crypt filled with real bones and a museum of sacred relics filled with statues of saints with admittedly stubby arms. (maybe that's just how the Portuguese wanted their saints, iunno)

Near the church is the Museo de Macau. There's a 15 HKD entrance fee but I guess you might as well drop by. Lots of Filipino guards inside you can chat with if you get bored with the lightup dioramas. I learned from the Museum that Macau is a place filled with lots of Chinese doing lots of Chinese things.

At the exit of the museum, you'll end up at the top of the hill facing the ruins of St. Paul. There's a snackbar near the exit of the fort. The canons are the real deal here and are good for photo ops. There's also a nice view of Macau's neighborhoods, which kinda looks like a typical Manila neighborhood, minus the street kids, but we'll go back to that bit in a sec.

From the fort, the best way to go is back down the escalator from which you came from. For our case, we used the stairs to go up to the fort instead of taking the escalators and ended up getting tired unnecessarily (I don't mind exercising, just not accidental exercise).

Path to Senado Square

After returning to the ruins of St. Paul, we went down the steps and into what looks like La Huerta, Parañaque. (I swear I can almost see Ka Saleng, the old lady who sells every toy imaginable near our school) The souvenir shops downstairs offer magnets, shirts and keychains at reasonable prices. There are signs everywhere that point to Senado Square, another popular landmark of the City. Just follow those, and if you feel you're lost, ask any Filipino there. Along the way, you may find a food shop that sells Portuguese egg tarts for 5$ a piece. Said to be a specialty, I did try one and it tasted like what it's supposed to be - an egg tart. If you see a church that looks like Quiapo Church complete with its own Plaza Miranda, you're near Senado Square.

Senado Square

The place is supposed to be a perfect venue for looking at the traditional Macau architecture which is a combination of Chinese, Portuguese, and neoclassical architecture (translation: the houses have bright colours, lots of posts, and there are Chinese people are playing Mahjong inside) As an added bonus, there are lots of Filipinos around this place even on Saturdays. During our trip, live feeds of the Paralympics were being shown on a huge-ass LCD, and there were midautumn festival lanterns sprawled around. Again, in my opinion the only reason I went there is because everybody who goes to Macau goes there.

Grand Lisboa

By the time you reach Senado Square, you'd have seen a very quaint golden building that looks like a strange simulacrum of male orgasm (i.e. shaped like golden semen shooting out into the sky). That's the Grand Lisboa and you're heading towards it. From Senado Square, head to the main road adjacent to it and then turn left. Keep walking until you start seeing Vegas-style lights. It's a bit far but I'm sure you can tolerate it.

The Grand Lisboa is one of the few casinos that aren't run by corporations coming in from Las Vegas and other parts of the world. Three things you may want to see here are:

- Star of Lisboa, a huge-ass diamond that's larger than your left nut (or right, if you're left-handed). It's located at the 2nd floor, which in Casino layout terms means 4th floor. I know. Fuck floor designers.

- Pianist Filipino. I dunno, any dude who can play the piano and sing is tour worthy in my book. He's at the upper 1st floor (3rd floor).

- More Russian hookers poledancing at the main hall. We can't have enough of those in this tour.

Open Options, Trip Home

At this point, you'd have seen everything that needs to be seen from my point of view. You're probably dead tired like me too. We went around the place a few more times, details of which I won't enumerate anymore. All I can say is this: The Macau Beer is a goddamn lie. There is no Macau Beer in Macau. If ever there is, don't look for it. Let it find you.

Anyway, along the road that you travelled on the way to the Grand Lisboa, there's a bus line that goes the Marina Ferry Terminal which is Bus line 3. Fare is 2.50HKD and the trip should take less than 20 minutes. (Make sure it's going to the Marina, and not on the other direction, heading for the airport).

From the ferry terminal, the departures is on the 2nd floor. Ticket price is 178HKD, a bit more expensive than going to Macau, which is a pretty literal way of making you feel that it's harder to leave Macau than to come to Macau. Travel time is about an hour. For our case, we left Macau at around 9 in the evening and got back to Hong Kong island an hour later.

Note that we did miss one vital location in this trip, the Macau Tower. I'm not sure why we did but we did. If I were really up to it, I'd visit it after the Grand Lisboa so I can get a nice night view of the Macau Skyline and have my dinner there. But I didn't because I was too tired and I think I've had my share of views from tall places here in Hong Kong. It's up to you if you still want to drop by, but I wouldn't really know if it's worth it or not.

Macau is one of those places where the best way to get around with your plan is to not have a plan at all. We winged pretty much everything from our arrival and the trip turned out rather well. So if you're planning to go to Macau, just keep a light goofy attitude and you'll feel right at home.

Well, unless your only there for the hookers.

One-day Macau Trip Foreword

I'd like to note a few things about the guide that I'll be posting after this that you may need to consider if you want to replicate our itenerary as exactly as possible.

1. I grew up in a family where touring another country means less of a vacation and more of a military operation. This is usually because we very rarely stay with relatives and friends and hotels are f'ing expensive so we try to cram as much activities as possible with the smallest of timeframes. The same applies for this Macau trip. We only stayed long enough and nothing longer. No coffee breaks, no 20 minute photoshoot sessions - nothing.

2. None of our itinerary was planned. The only resources we used are the visitor information counter at the terminal and a bunch of unsorted random trivia swimming in my head at that time (e.g. Macau has this unfinished church that keeps appearing whenever the country is mentioned. We just needed to fucking see that.)

4. We don't have people who need to urinate every 10 minutes in our group.

3. Guided tours are for fags.

North Korean Health Supplements

Pyongyang, September 1 (KCNA) -- The DPRK is concentrating its efforts on developing health foods.
Public health and biological science research institutions have developed various kinds of specially efficacious health foods.
They are made with natural medicines including Panax schinseng and Ganoderma growing in the northern highland of the country. Among them are anti-radiation honey and eye strain relieving honey. Their everyday administration helps people swiftly relieve from mental and physical fatigue and prevent heart diseases and thrombosis.
Yanggeron manufactured by a folk method with a long history is a sort of tonic which gives youthful vitality to the user.
The nutritive pine flower pills contain materials needed for the human body such as various vitamins, microelements, essential amino acid and polysaccharide which are good for health promotion.
Besides, active nutrient pills, functional health food, and nutritive powder and nutrient jelly, health food complexes, are also popular among the people.
Kumsamsu, Chongjiryong, Chongsinjong, Chonghyolsodangjong, Poganjong, Unicolon and others which are potent for health protection find their way to foreign markets.

Let me start by saying any government that tries to develop food supplements for the benefit of its own people is doing something noble. I do however, believe, that the reason why they call these things "food supplements" is because you need to have food to supplement first. In a nation like North Korea where being poor and starving has been the general fashion statement for a good half century, I'm pretty sure honey that "reduces eye strain" is the last thing they'd really need. But hey, those anti-radiation honey just might get in handy when the people start thinking they'd eat what Korea has lots of - weaponized uranium.

I'm just saying.

My Work

[This article is best served with a nice hot cup of GLOAT. What was that? Screw you, I just need some selfreassurance at the moment. Bite me.]

I've always been straightforward about how I deal with my work. I don't like working, but I'm happy with my work. Granted the ability to not have to work a single minute more and still be made for life, I'd drop what I'm doing faster than you can say "driftwood".

But then again, life's not exactly the type to give things out as freebies. To get what you want, you gotta earn money, and just like any human being out there, I do have my sets of wants, although I'm not so sure there are other humans who'd want most of what I want, like invade Sabah using native soliders strapped on the backs of tortoises.(fuck yeah.)

So I work, and I'm happy I only have to do what I do to get the money I want. I work in the IT industry and while it's not exactly the best line of work out there (e.g. Peter North's) I admit that it's a lot better than most other jobs out there, but who cares? A few of the indirect perks you can get for doing my line of work:

1. Work is hardly monotonous, very much unlike working the cash register, or manning a ferry, or blowing dicks for chump change. Pretty much like being inside a car, being in constant changing motion eliminates most notions of boredom. Of course most accidents require motion to occur, but what the hell, right?

2. I don't have to walk around, much. I like sitting. God gave me a well-formed ass so I can sit on it and I'm happy to not disappoint in using such a gift. I know it forces me into a sedentary lifestyle, but I guess I've grown to love just that. Like you know, just sitting and still earning shit. Walking around causes all sorts of injury, like tripping, and getting hit by a runaway bus. Nobody likes those things, not when you have safer options like sitting. .

3. I don't have to talk to people, much. I like talking to people actually, as long as I don't have to talk to them about work. As anybody who's been in a team before , I know that the biggest problems working people ever face are the problems that actually have faces - other people. By being forced to face a computer, you minimize that gut-busting aspect most work forces on you. Sure, you get your daily dose of human attrition too, but not as much. Also there's always nice ways to avoid intense conflicts using technology - like email, the answering machine, and heaven forbid, the tazer.

4. Internet. So how many jobs will give you the perk to type out something like this during workhours? In some cases typing out even something like this on a keyboard could mean instant death - like if you're a trapeze acrobat.

5. I get to travel and shit. Sure, it's only one country but still. I'm happy I can travel. Going into another country gives you a chance to just leave a lot of things behind and give you a perspective on many aspects of life(for my case, a very chinese perspective). For my case, I get an extra bonus because I only stay for short periods and I stay where there's Jollibee, and we all know being able to eat chickenjoy at any moment's notice is always a good plus when nostalgia starts kicking in.

6. Programming is the exercise for the mind. The mind is a muscle that just dies out when you stop using it. Ask any congressman. By doing programming, you constantly get presented with puzzles, and puzzles you're paid to solve. You get your mental exercise and you're being handed wads of cash for your effort. It's a win-win scenario. My only peeve about this is that people rarely see well-sculpted brains without having to crack your skull open. I bet if I can show off my brain around, I'd be getting chicks left and right. (p.s. Anna, darling, if you're reading this, I'm just saying this for humor's sake. I love you baby. Now put down that knife.)


There's a hundred different labels for my profession, not including raunchier ones like codebitch, so it's always hard to know what it is that I really do, and it's always hard as hell to explain what I do to people who don't understand what SDLC, coding, and Java means. But here's a little secret that I've always thought about my work:

It's awesome.

Practice What You Preach

I remember before, my teacher once mentioned to me when you lift a pail of water and stay in position you're not doing any work at all, because work is distance times effort. Being the asshole kid that I am, I said "Then you're not working, ma'am, because you're just sitting on that desk all day." I promptly got disciplined for saying that. Practice what you preach is all I'm saying.

Pool's Closed, Day 2

Last night I was at the Chai Wan pool again, making it the second day in a row. There were fewer people and this time I was with a couple of friends. If I failed to mention it before, the pool area is conveniently located at the side of a freaking mountain accessible only by foot, so long before you dive into the pool, you're already borderline fainting from exhaustion because of the climb. This is probably one of the few pools where people get cramps before they even get wet.

I personally didn't think I'd make it to the pool. My body was still aching from last night's session where I was able to squeeze out 6 laps in an hour (yeah yeah, I suck). Those six laps included doing barrel rolls and other dodging techniques because of the crowded lanes. Speaking of crowded, I'm still unsure whether the pool is heated or the pool water is just warm because of the people inside. So yeah, my body already felt like it had lead ballasts around it, but I've always heard that the quickest way to remove muscle pain brought by exercise is to follow through with more exercise.

Call me slow, but I only lately learned that the governing principle behind that belief is that if you exercise more when you're dead tired, you're bound to die. Dead people don't get muscle pain.

I also tried the diving pool last night. A diving pool, so you know, is a pool that's usually smaller than other pools but much deeper. A diving board or two is in place and you get to practice there the fine fine art of entering the water with as little accompanying pain as possible.

See, apparently, water is only fluid when you're already in the water. Water has this property we call "being a jerk" which allows it to harden like cement when it sees you hurtling toward it at very fast speeds generously sponsored by gravity.

To be honest, I don't really know jack shit about platform diving, or just plain diving for that matter. Half the time I can't even enter the water properly while jumping off the side of a normal pool. Last night was my first time doing an actual platform dive.

I actually thought it'd be easy, but in the end I got scared of jumping and then hitting the plan on my way down, I forgot to realign myself properly so that you "pierce" the water with your feet or arms and not fall flat on the water surface like how they do it in the cartoons.

Apparently, I have a natural affinity for things cartoonish. My chest hit the water first. If you want to know how it feels, have three guys punch you in the left and right side of yoru chests and then your abdomen simultanously, then have yourself thrown in deep water. Shit just knocks the wind out of you, I swear.

If you're going to ask me whether or not I'll be doing that thing again, I probably will.

But maybe it'll have to wait until I can move other muscles in my body that's not involved in typing out this article.

Pool's Closed

I just need to get this out. A lap pool called a lap pool because some people need to do laps. Not everybody in the swimming pool park is in there to soak up and engage in contests about who can hold their breath the longest.

So anyway, last night, I finally got to swim again in the Chai Wan water park. There were a lot of people, presumable for three reasons.

1. It's still summer and there are no classes in school.
2. The entrance is free because of the Beijing Olympics.
3. I'm going to be there.

In order to avoid the much more crowded and generally more unsavory "anything goes" pool which was partially populated by children who still fancy urinating without getting out of the water, I just had to go to the lap pool. The lap pool in this place is something akin to the expressway. People follow the lanes and swim from end to end without stopping for rest every two minutes. On more crowded days, you can find yourself swimming behind somebody and have another person swimming behind you on one lane. Yeah, pressure. It's tough to swim in this type of pool, but hey, getting tired beats swallowing urine-water any day. Being of standard olympic depth, there are fewer kids in this pool.

On my third lap last night, I was doing a brisk breaststroke run when I felt my feet land on something solid after I frog kicked. Since I was in the middle of the pool and not on one end, it could not possibly have been the wall. I looked behind and saw a kid thrashing in the water, presumably in pain, either that or he likes to dance the wiggler underwater.

As it turns out, the kid in his teens had crossed the pool sideways just after I had passed him, causing him to end up where my legs are supposed to kick to give me the thrust. I can't really confirm if he broke a rib but he looked like far from dying. The kid left the pool promptly and I continued my run. Okay, he didn't leave the pool. His hauled him out. Was it really my fault?

You know, people don't cross EDSA haphazardly for a reason. IF you jump into a steady stream of fast-moving people who are utilizing every major muscle in their body while swimming you CAN get seriously injured.

Sometimes I think the reason why some people float easier is that they have bubbles of air where their brains should be.

In other news, left shoulder still feels numb.

That is all.

Pokemon: The Golden Years

And so it came to pass that Ash finally caught all those gajillion pokemons people rap about after so many years of running around the world. Nowadays he's just bent in getting rid of other things he caught along the journey - hernia, diabetes, and a really bad case of scoliosis.