Video of President Arroyo's Outburst

The tape basically contains a 10 minute view into President Arroyo's outburst after arriving at a taping to find out the cameras weren't ready yet. From what I've heard, she was supposed to deliver her statement regarding the fighting in Lanao Del Norte.

More than seeing our dear leader pissed, I find it more interesting to find just how many people can be found in this video standing around and doing nothing. Maybe one or two of these guys are security detail, but looking at the faces of some of these guys, they're too old to be doing security. It took three men to replace the goddamn logo behind the desk for fuck's sake. Everytime a question is thrown, like how long will the setup take, the question bounces off at least four people before somebody gets an estimate.

Worst bit? We're paying for these assholes who wouldn't last a month working for a privately owned studio. That's right. We're using up taxes from the salaries that we earned by acting professionally to hire morons who wouldn't know rapid deployment from lose bowel movement.

Typical government.

Where is Indian superman when we need him?

Indian Superman

I'll just leave this here...

Points to ponder (Gabay sa Pagaaral):

- More than 10 years before DC and Marvel superheroes clashed in DC vs Marvel, we find here Superman trying to sex up Spiderman, dancing with him in the air in what would only appear to look like a Kryptonian mating ritual. Strangely enough, Spiderman looks like a woman, but I don't think such trivial matter should be given more attention, because Superman is gay.

- Apparently even superhero positions can be outsourced to Indians. Next thing you know, gangster rap videos will be staring Punjab too.

- Even Superhero Films doesn't escape the bollywood treatment. Superman just has to SING (or supersing for that matter) and DANCE. And by counting the number of backup dancers he has, this has got to be the most sociable superman in film history.

- When it comes to the "most" records, this superman also has the biggest "S" symbol. Whether or not he's compensating I'd rather not know.

- This film is actually very very controversial. Kissing in public, and specially on film is an Indian taboo and this clip is one of the few instances you see indian people kissing on scene. Maybe all that dancing is their way of sublimating emotions? Take that interpretive dancers!

- Looking at how Superman looks here, I'm not really surprised why Travola never got the role as the superman in any of his films.

Conversations In My Head

Many people wonder where I'm getting all the stuff I write here. Some people suspect that I have an army of smuggled slaves at the basement of my house writing random shit everyday. They're wrong though, the slaves aren't there for writing, theyre there to keep my house from getting flooded, but I digress. I actually have a bunch of personas in my head talking to each other all the time about the randomest of things and do nothing else, kinda like corporate bums without the cup of coffee in hand. A typical convo would go something like this:

Pubes: Dude. What's with the names?

Titiks: Don't ask me man. At least yours is still a bit discrete.

Pubes: Still not something I can go brag about to my future children.

Titiks: It'd go like "Kids, you know where my name came from? Shag rags. Shag bushes."

Pubes: Shagbush. I like that. Sounds like every American-hating terrorist's wet dream.

Titiks: Uhh I'd rather not go there.

Pubes: Anyway why are we here, instead of a coherent post?

Titiks: Coherent is something I haven't seen or heard around this place for a very long time. Like God showered the world with coherence and this place turned into the Sahara of Coherent thought.

Pubes: "Welcome to Public Static. Surrender your remaining IQ to the big muscular guy at the entrance."

Titiks: ... You know what ticks me off? It's like every other person who stumbles upon this site manages to misread the title into pubic static.

Pubes: If there's such a thing as pubic static, I imagine it to be God's way of punishing frequent masturbators. Masturbate a lot, pubic static builds up. Next thing you know, you get electrocuted for being so lecherous.

Titiks: If we can just tap that energy and we'd have solved the energy crisis of this country.

Pubes: If wanking off produces electricity, Japan would probably be able to supply electricity for half the world.

Titiks: Next thing you know, America's raiding the country for attempting to enrich weaponized porn.

Pubes: I'll never look at Bukakke the same way again.

Titiks: Or the common carrot.

Pubes: What?

Titiks: Nothing.

So yeah, ideas ahoy.

Wall-E : A Movie Walkthrough

Instead of the usual review format, I'd like do something else for this movie. It's called a movie walkthrough. I'll be making comments about various parts of the film in the same manner you hear the know-it-all jerkoff behind your seat, making snide remarks while watching the actual movie. (yes, dipstick, we don't care if some things in this show are impossible. It's a fucking cartoon.) This time though, you're not watching the actual movie, so nobody has to stab anybody. Oh and yeah, in case you still don't know, there will be spoilers.

Anyway, on with the show.

The cinema is dark, the trailers have been shown. Movie opens up and we see Wall-E. The first part of Wall-E is a digitized remake of Resiklo, we have an old, clunky creature (Wall-E/Bong Revilla) trying to do what they're expected to do with their lives (recycle/suck ass). Now before I completely derail this article by ranting how much Resiklo sucked, let's just continue.


One thing noticieable by oldfags watching this movie is that Wall-E looks like the aborted fetus of Johnny Five from the 80s movie ShortCircuit. It's a nice nod to a classic robot deisgn. Maybe the guys at Buy 'n Large were movie buffs, but I don't see how that's relevant.


Enter EVE - a robot that looks like an egg, if in the future iPods learned to lay eggs. Armed with lazers, and lots of LED for eyes. Her die-rec-tive to find life forms on the planet. Wall-E falls in love with her at first sight, because come on, 200 years without tang won't really leave you picky.

The two get to know each other and Wall-E manages to make the girl fall for him using the only way most guys of our time know. Wall-E gives EVE the plant, which instantaneously knocks her out. Hilarity ensues. Did I say hilarity? I meant date rape.


You can argue all you want, but if making a girl dress up while she's unconsicous, taking her places, forcibly prying her hands from her cold hard casing against will (or lack there of) doesn't consitute "taking advantage", I don't know what will.

Anyhoo, a big ship takes EVE in for a ride and Wall-E bravely tags along. We are then presented with the world-ship Axiom, which has turned into a space fatfarm after floating around space for years.


In the ship, nobody ever walks around anymore. Everything is automated, and made easy from liquid food to built-in Google within the floating chairs of the people. The rest of the jobs are managed by robots, including the piloting of the ship. At this point, the movie is posing a very strong position against people living sedentary escapist lives, with allusions to the internet and solitary living. Kinda ironic since a good handful of people will be watching this on the internet, in front of their computers, alone. (hint: it's still showing at the cinemas)

Towards the end of the film Wall-E manages to stage an uprising (kinda like resiklo) against the totalitarian robots who have been preventing the return of humans to Earth, still looking blue and brown. Wall-E's antics manages to convince people that robots make bad drivers and that they should return to earth, ushering another era of large beasts roaming this world long after the dinosaurs have died out. Oh and yeah, people finally own up to the mistakes of their ancestors and start cleaning up and stuff, which is probably the most unrealistic aspect of the movie since PC nerds are the hardest people to convince when it comes to cleaning. Ask your mom if youre not convinced.

Anyhoo, Wall-E gets returned to his home shack and gets fixed up by EVE, and they live happily ever after, or whatever it is that robots do when they hook up.

As for my take on the movie, I think it's nice to see that you can actually send a message about staying healthy and doing something for the environment without sounding like a snobby asshole like Al Gore. All in all, the movie was well worth a second viewing, and warrants a good recommendation, specially to fat friends who like to hang out in front of computers all day.

Now if you don't mind, I'll return to my daily routine of whoring out the internet.

Bright Headlamps aren't.

Here's a theorem for all you sad motorfags:

Bright lights are only used by drivers who aren't.

Let me begin with the fact that I never really understood people wanting to "customize" their cars beyond practical function. Rear spoilers were meant to improve tire grip, but I don't think they work with cars that spend 80% of their time on the road in bumper to bumper traffic. Those overlarge mufflers, too, have long since been proven to be ineffective in making your car perform better, or compensate small penises for that matter. I'm also against the trend of putting ornamental drivers behind the wheel, specially when they have the thinking capability of a week-old potato salad.

For quite some time now, there's this trend where people change the bulbs of their headlights into something helluva bright like xenon and halogen and then use them at night high-fucking-beam. Reasons for doing so range from the seemingly practical "so I see shit better" to the more mundane "because it makes me look cooler".

You know, those engineers over at the safety section of the car company that made your car didn't choose the current light bulb settings in your car for the heck of it. Maybe, we should consider for a moment that, like, maybe these guys actually spent hundreds of hours trying to balance out your ability to see better at night and the ability of cars ahead of you to not develop eye tumors by seeing your headlamps from 5 kilometers away.

I know I don't have the best eyes at night, and yes, on particularly rainy evenings, I have to turn on my optional halogens. What I can't really get are the assholes who use them even when they're cruising on a full-moon night on a highway with perfectly good road lighting. Is it for safety?

Consider how safe it is to walk in a sidewalk where there are blind cyclists. Now imagine the cyclists weighing around a ton and moving about at around 100 km per hour, because that's what bright lights do to a driver seeing them on the wrong end - they fucking blind him. And unless cruise sonar gets invented for cars, or we evolve echolocation using our cackles, blind drivers are about 100x more dangerous than second hand smoke when applied directly to your chest.

And it's not like our local traffic bureau is helping. Shit, they can't even implement catching vanity plate users. (Yes, moron, it's illegal to not display your standard license even if you have a vanity plate available). A few years ago they banned "stainless" owner-type jeeps from the road because they blind people at night. I get the feeling that the reason they thought it was the jeep that's causing the blindness was that there's some dipstick with halogens behind the jeep reflecting all that light on the shiny surface. Talk about missing the root of the problem huh?

Yes I am well aware that we do have drivers that can't see well in the dark enough to drive properly. You'd think for this case, they're allowed to use bright lights. WRONG. If you have a driver's license, you should check the back part where they specify special conditions. I.e. if your license has these, you will not be allowed to drive under certain circumstances. And for the circumstance that you can't drive at night when it's dark, there's condition C.

Daylight driving only!

There are times I just wished our government didn't forget to implement the very same regulations that they give to the road users. Maan. Fuck the halofags. And fuck the government for letting them get away with it.

My Personal Commuting History

This post is just a random collection of facts I managed to salvage from the failing memory blocks of my youth. The topic? Transportation in general.

- I first learned how to commute from my school to our house at age 7, when I was in Grade 2. Back then the minimum fare was 50 centavos, and it was actually possible for you to get enough money for the trip by returning a cokebottle or two at our school canteen.

- I studied in Parañaque and lived in Bacoor, Cavite. There's roughly 18 km distance between the two. While I knew how to commute from my school to my house and did so rather regularly, I can only remember less than 10 instances when I had to commute from my house to school throughout my gradeschool years.

- Traveltime to and from school ranges from an hour to an hour and a half. If I had enough guts to cross the coastal road highway just beside our school, it would only take 25 minutes. The number of students killed while doing this, however, is more than enough to discourage me from doing it often.

- Running out of money for even traveling back to my house is unlikely, but not impossible. Happened to me at least five times. I've done 123 (riding without paying), begged strangers for money, and walked when my money could not afford the whole trip. I also walked when there were no jeeps to ride which happened almost once every month. The farthest distance I've had to walk was from Pulanglupa, Las Pinas to my house in Bacoor Cavite - while hauling a very heavy schoolbag.

- When I reached highschool, I literally went places just to look for good places where I can rent gaming consoles/LAN-ed computers. The farthest place I went to play PSX is Binakayan, Cavite, another 10 kms from my house on the opposite direction of my school. (so coming from school, I first had to travel 28 kms just to be able to play Castlevania without fear of getting caught by my parents.

- The average departure time of schoolbuses that picked me up is 615. When my sister started driving at the age of 14 however, she liked to leave at around 530 to avoid traffic. Either way, I always woke up around 4am.

- I first learned how to drive at age 11 after being taught by my dad in the beaches of Saudi Arabia, but I didn't get a license until I was already 16 and in college. For my first car, I drove an '81 model Isuzu Gemini with a 2.0 diesel engine, 3 years older than me. It's the type of car that still used heaters, and it took a minute to start up. Back then, my average weekly spending on fuel was less than 300 pesos. Interestingly, today, that's roughly the cost of fuel spent on one round trip from Manila to Cavite on a gasoline vehicle with the same engine size.

- That same Isuzu Gemini is still being driven around today by my relatives, 27 years after it was first used.

- Hitchhiking sounds fun but I've never tried it. Yet.

That's about it for the more interesting factoids. I'll just update this post in the future when I remember other stuff.

Recah Trinidad

I've always been critical at the approach Philippine Daily Inquirer took in reporting news. I don't like the idea that most writers doing the online news are only focused on bagging the higher Google ranking by reporting as fast as they can, no matter how wrong the news gets. I don't like their sensationalist style of reporting. And I don't like the idea that journalism and blogging are sleeping in the same bed. Shit sucks, but hey, that's their style.

And then came Recah Trinidad.

Yesterday afternoon I was browsing through the inquirer articles about the Olympics in the inquirer.net website, trying to look for the results of olympian Tañamor when I saw this article:

Team Philippines: Who’s the biggest flop of all?

I think my mind broke down several times trying to digest the article. If you read some of my more rant-ridden articles on this site, you will notice that I don't have a lot of respect for other people's beliefs either but Christ, this guy just sucks at what he's doing.

I remember Anna saying when I talked to her about this, that sometimes for you to stand out, you have to sensationalize your work, even to the point of controversy. I agree on that, but Recah Trinidad went past the realm of controversy and made a mabuhay-miles roundtrip to the realm of retardation. If you can even comprehend what's written on the page, you'd have a strong suspicion the writer is either drunk, high, or mentally defective.

Okay, the premise of the article is criticizing how pitiful our Olympians are in the world arena. Got it. From my experience in this site, banking on a premise that's naturally LOL material is already jackshit easy to do. Insult comedy is the easiest comedy; ask any gay comedian in a comedy club. But the thing is, even with a good premise, Ricah still manages to fail at being funny (or at least visciously witty) in the article, and wholly misses the point of his own writing style.

That's the thing about insult comedy. If you're going for insulting people to get laughter, you absolutely have to make people laugh and make the pain worth the gain, or else you will be the next sacrifice. In more religious terms, if you're going for human sacrifice, there better be pussy raining from the heavens afterwards. For Trinidad's pitiful case, it's raining stupid, by the bucket, and nobody's finding it amusing.

I'm sure his style of journalism will earn him at least some following, even if it's just a group of people trailing his ass for the opportunity to kill him and stop his genes from being passed on the the next generation. What I don't understand is why a publication like the Philippine Daily Inquirer allows a bad apple like this guy mix in with the other, generally more respectable journalists. Suffice to say the quality of journalism since the breaking of the cyberspace age has gone dramatically down and people like Mr. Trinidad are the cancer that's speeding up the process of killing intellectual thought online.

At some point in the future this page will get indexed and will be one of the front page results when googling and Recah might be able to read this. That'd be nice.

Recah Trinidad, your writing style and attitude has serious problems. Find a new way of attracting attention, or find another career. I heard the construction industry is currently expanding their manpower pool. Nobody will complain there if you can't be funny while manually mixing cement.

Lockers

One of the things that I never really got to experience back in Highschool is having my own locker, a small lockable storage of sorts allocated to you at the start of a quarter/schoolyear where you can store your books and other belongings. You'd think at this day and age, a private school would already have this sort of convenience that probably existed long before many other inventions like the automobile and textspeak.

No, we didn't have those. It was actually forbidden to use such tools of satan. We asked our teachers why the school admin refuses to let us keep some of our books in school, you know, so we don't look like homeless people who carry around everything we own in our backs, they had a simple answer: carrying books fosters diligence and teaches us the values of hard work.

I swear to God they really said that. The only thing fostered by carrying some 200 kilos worth of schoolgear everyday is a hunchback the size of a regulation-sized volleyball. And for somebody like me who has to commute everday some 20 kilometers from Paranaque to Cavite, I probably could've done summer jobs as a beast of burden.

Like many things in highschool however, the problem is only as intolerable as one's inability to find "workarounds". If my memory serves me right, there were four primary ways of circumventing the problem of having to carry a very heavy bag to school:

1. Tearing the book into sections and brining to school only what's needed - A generally good idea if you are a single kid who doesn't have a brother who will need the book as a hand-me-down, but a definite bad idea when the teacher asks the book to be submitted, if in case it's a workbook. Good luck trying to explain the anorexic state of your book.

2. Borrow books from another class
The beauty of highschool education is that normally, no two classes on the same level take the same subject at the same time. That means books not being used by the other class can be borrowed by a class currently taking the subject. Smuggling books in between classrooms can be quite a bitch however, because students are rarely allowed to loiter outside in between classes.

3. Not bringing anything at all.
This method is not for the weakhearted. Practitioners are often dubbed "Scholar ng Bayan" for some reason I never really understood. The best bet I can think of is that scholars are too poor/smart for books. It takes balls to face a teacher who asks you where your book is and "bring it" by saying "I didn't bring it."

4. Hide the books in school
The most popular method, people resort to just finding nook and crannies to hide books. Some of the more popular locations include, but are defintitely not limited to:

- Under the teaching platform in front of the classroom
- Houses of friends who live nearby
- In between the trusses of the scaffolding behind the blackboard
- Among workbooks that are kept in school for exception
- Between newspapers during newspaper fund drives (sometimes they get accidentally donated)
- Inside other people's bags (typically, people who don't study at home and hence don't notice their additional burden until the following day when the book is retrieved by the owner)
- CAT Room, though for officers only
- Inside teacher's desks
- Under the chairs (for the very lazy people)
- Abandoned coca-cola shack behind the Church

While not exactly capital crime, hiding books in school is discouraged, frowned upon, and punished with different penalties ranging from a deduction in the student's conduct ratings. confiscations of the found books, and putting hefty fines per book (20 pesos per piece at the time was heavy indeed)

Book raids were conducted every now and then by the class advisers so hiding books was a constant game of cloak and dagger, with its own set of sympathizers, traitors and the like. Sometimes though, books just take a life of their own and turn themselves in. There was one time my professor was writing on the blackboard when he hit the board a bit too hard, presumably because we were being the inattentive dicks we've always been. Three books promptly fell from behind the blackboard.

Classrooms were definitely hard places to hide in so books were often stored outside classrooms but within the school grounds. One big problem that this posed though, is that books that get stored this way tend to get hidden a bit too well, by that I mean "stolen". I remember losing my Algebra book and Biology book that way. Since it was midschoolyear and I still needed to get educated somehow, I did what any normal student in my school would.

I stole somebody else's.

There are days I think of going back to my school and telling our teachers and school admin the effects of their policies, but then again I get to think, it's not all too bad. If we did have lockers in the first place, I wouldn't have learned a lot of life's lessons and skills I will need to survive in the real world.

Like hiding things, and making sure nobody fucks with them.

911 - Pinas Style

[localized post. come back tomorrow for something in English]

Hindi maipagkakaila na masayahin ang mga pilipino. Gusto mo ng patunay? Isipin mo yung 911 hotline. Sa ibang bansa gaya ng States, pag nagdial ka ng 911, kahit ano pa problema mo, sunog, krimen, sakit sa puso, sakit sa sunog na krimen, may darating agad na tulong, mabilis pa sa alas-kwatro.

Dito sa Pilipinas, pag may emergency tapos ginawa mo yun, pag tumawag ka ng 911, may reresponde rin ng mabilis na mabilis. Pero imbes na tulong ng ambulansya o firetruck makukuha mo, ang darating sa bahay mo e lalaking nakamotorsiklo.


Taena, wala ngang papatay ng sunog, pero at least may pizza ka diba? 30 minutes or less yun "or your next pizza is free"! Pag may palm card ka may libre na isa pang pizza saka pepsi max. Ayus. Kulang na lang yung component ng kapitbahay, pwede ka na magjamming. Yun nga lang, pag sakit sa puso yung itinawag mo medyo sa langit mo na uubusin yung stuffed crust kasi dedbols ka na. Pero at least happy diba?

Walang ganyan sa States!

Some Changes

For various reasons, this blog will now be releasing articles in both English and Filipino. Articles in the vernacular will be labeled as such.

Sa kadahilanan na hindi ko alam, at hindi ko balak alamin, magsusulat na rin ako ng mga Filipino na entries dito sa aking blog. Lalagyan ko na lang ng babala yung mga kwentong Pinoy, para na rin sa kapakanan ng ating mga porenjer na nagbabasa (kung meron. meron ba? meron yaaaan.)

Estoy para mas itech, que me sulat ng chuvanacius in English ets Filipino. Me chenes in Pinoy a chikadees itchen. Charing?